Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I come to you on a break from studying for the exam tomorrow. The more I go over the material, the more I realize that I know this stuff. I’ve been learning it all for three years now and feel like I can’t cram anymore. When the time comes to take the test, I know I’ll be able to pull information out of the depths of my long-term memory to pick the correct answer. Still nervous. Still studying. But almost ready.

I know all of you have been anxiously awaiting the announcement I eluded to in a previous entry (“Under Construction”). Well, after some meeting and thoughts, I’ve made a significant discovery:

I MAY NOT WANT TO DO NURSING SCHOOL ANYMORE

Or at least, not right now. I haven’t made my decision yet – it should be coming in early December, around graduation. But my wheels are turning and reflection is starting to take place.

What brought me to this epiphany you ask? Well several factors:

1. Coffee with Christine. A few weeks ago, I had a wonderful time seeing Christine and catching up. I was discussing my future plans with her and various ways in which I can use my degree if I do not get into nursing school. She said something to me that I had never considered. She said that I always talk about wanting to be a specific kind of nurse, but never about being a nurse in general. It’s true. I’m not yearning to give shots or bandage arms or clean bed pans. Can I do it? Absolutely. Can I work in a crisis? Saying it’s one of my strengths is an understatement. But do I want to do it? That’s a question I’m on a mission to answer.

2. UNT denied me. Yes, I am aware that with the exception of a small blurb at the bottom of an entry, I have not really talked about it much. The truth is, I’m bummed about not getting in. I was actually going to probably pick grad school over nursing school anyway – or rather, I was seriously considering it. Does being denied compel me to drop nursing school like an old hat? Not even close. But what it did do is make me realize that nursing wasn’t the only thing I wanted to do in my life and that other options do exist that I would enjoy equally – if not more.

3. TCU’s nursing school spoke at a Future Aggie Nurses meeting. An unlikely source of life-changing messages, I know. But it did get me thinking. The representative said that “nursing school is too hard to do just to do it.” Hm. I never thought of it that way. I’ve always figured it’s school and I can do it. However, if I’m not 100% into learning the material, I’ll die faster than a salt-covered slug. Yeah. I said it. I can’t decide six months into the program that nursing isn’t for me. That’s not fair to me nor is it fair to another candidate that wants my admission spot. I fear that may happen if I start in January.

4. My bosses gave me some clarity. They gave me some much needed advice and confidence about employers in the field. One of my big concerns is entering the health field without a master’s degree. But while it is a bonus to have more education, they told me it is not the first thing employers look at – or at least not the first thing my bosses have looked at.

5. The career center gave me more clarity. I made an appointment with a career advisor earlier in the week to see if I could get an unbiased opinion. Success! I spent an hour and a half with her, though the appointment was only supposed to be 30 minutes. She helped me perfect my resume – and was really impressed with my certification section. We also talked about how to look for jobs, when to look for jobs, and she showed me tons of resources the center has that I can utilize before I graduate. I was also coached on how to inquire about employers creating jobs for me. It kind of excited me.

6. Let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to make some extra money? With a wedding in the works and a husband still in school, the next year will be financially difficult. Having one of us in a full-time job would alleviate a lot of stress. I don’t view this reason as a top reason by any means, but still something to consider.

7. An uncertain future makes me want to hold off on schooling. With the possibility of Phillip attending graduate school in New Mexico, maybe it’s a good thing I wait a bit to start a second schooling career. If I started nursing school now, I’d either have to put it on hold for New Mexico or try my hardest to get as much as possible to transfer – risking loss of hours. I know there is no certainty to Phillip going to grad school there, but it is a significant option.

So I know you guys are thinking that my mind is already made up – and maybe it is. I don’t know. I’m not making a set-in-stone decision until after I find out if TCC accepts me into their nursing program or not. I want to do some more contemplating. I feel like I’m at a fork in the road and each path is one-way. I know I can always do the other option if I don’t like the first, but if that first option is nursing school, I’ll have a lot of time and work before I go back into the health field. I feel like possibly going into the workforce will give me some extra perspective. Maybe…?

Being a health major has opened my eyes to so many endless possibilities and lots of doors are open for me to walk through. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to close all of them just yet.

7 months, 27 days!