One of THOSE Nights

Tonight is one of those nights.

One of those nights I feel like the laundry pile is too big to conquer. The cleaning will never end. The dog will never be happy. The fridge will never be full enough. The money will never be plentiful enough. My work will never be good enough. My ambitions are out of reach. Goals will never be accomplished. And so on and so forth.

Yes. A whoa-is-me kind of night.

Every once in a while we are all aloud to have one of those nights. A night for a pity party. A night to cry. A night to crumble. A night to pray. A night to be open to realizations. A night to welcome faith into our hearts.

Last week I had another one of those nights with my dad. I suddenly burst into tears over something seemingly unimportant. But when things pile up, sometimes it takes a single straw to break the camel's back. I remember him turning to me and asking "What is really the problem?" And I realized, that sometimes the load of life gets too heavy and you just need a good cry.

Is there something huge weighing me down? Doubtful. Life is pretty great. But you know, sometimes it gets to be too much to handle. God designs it that way so we can always remember to rely on Him instead of ourselves. He reminds us that He has created all of this and we still need Him to get through it - no matter how blessed we are.

I wanted it all. I have it all. Prayers answered. Check. But that doesn't mean I don't need help getting through it. "Perfection" has its limitations and it doesn't guarantee that I am perfect - because no one is.

Life will always be tough. I will always want more. My husband will always need more "training". My calling will never be fulfilling enough. Goals accomplished will always yield more goals that have yet to be completed. My to-do list will never be done. I will always want more. That is how I am.

My family, friends, and husband have always encouraged me to be a dreamer - and I am a big one. I dream big, want more, strive for the most, and will stop at nothing.

So nights like tonight, I take a step back. I realize that not everything needs to happen all at once. I need to stop and smell the roses (ie enjoy the process as much as the outcome).

Contentment has never been a strong suit of mine. But I am trying. Nights like tonight make me realize I still have a long way to go. Thank you family and friends for being patient.