Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Last Night

Last night was rough.

Sometimes, our relationship is hard - it happens. It's so hard sometimes to deal with school, work, growing up AND a long distance relationship. Is it worth it? Totally. Is it hard, though? Absolutely.

I let it all get to me sometimes and seem to take it out on whoever I talk to first (which is usually Phillip). He's so patient and I love him completely for that.

But it's still hard sometimes.

I look at it this way: It is so much easier to get mad at someone than to miss them. If I get mad at him, I can have control over my emotions. If I just sit around and miss him, I have no control and tend to want to stay in bed all day every day.

I love A&M very much and believe that this is the best thing for me and for our relationship. I do wonder, almost daily, how happy I'd be if I were able to see him every day. I would love that so much.

But here is where I'm grounded. I have a life here... a fantastic major I can't find anywhere else... friends.... a lease.... Can I just let that all go and move back home? No. I must stay here for the next 2.5 years and wait it out. It'll make it better in the end, I know.

But for now, I wait.... impatiently.... and try to take it one day at a time.

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