Trying Not to Cry...

So my boss told me from the very beginning of working here that if I wanted to request a day off, she needed a day's notice. So I figured asking five days in advanced would be enough to have this Friday off. I asked and they said they'd have to double check for schedule's sake.

I made plans. I made appointments. I was going to try on bridesmaid dresses for Samantha's wedding. We were going to go cake tasting and look at the venue. I was really looking forward to spending time Thursday night with Phillip before this hectic weekend.

All of those plans came to a screeching halt when my boss informed me that she had to go upstairs Friday to look through papers and nobody can sit at the reception desk. Therefore instead of doing all of those fun things, I get to sit here and twiddle my thumbs for three hours. Instead of returning home tomorrow night, I have to wait and be rushed and sit through hours of traffic.

It's days like this that I envy those students who don't have to take summer classes or work when I have to do both at once.

This schedule is really getting to me. I only have 5 hours worth of free time at night to work on homework for the next day and possibly spend an hour doing absolutely nothing, if I'm lucky. I'm exhausted. I'm overworked. I feel under appreciated by everyone around me. And all of these emotions come to a peak when I realize I still have three more weeks of this.

I wish I would have known a year ago I was going to graduate early. I wish I would have reconsidered not having a summer job and spending a 10 week summer school session at home instead of a 6 week one here. I wish I didn't renew my lease so I wouldn't be bogged down with this potential financial burden.

I spend all night in my room writing up three lab reports and prelab questions a night. That's not to mention the two or three writing assignments and two tests each week. And that's just one of my classes. I still have biweekly quizzes and assignments in my other two classes.

I can't wait to get out of here. I've never been so miserable in my life. I know this sounds so dramatic but I'm serious. I miss my family. I miss my fiance. I need this weekend to at least gather up the amount of sanity I have left. And that weekend could have been a three-day one if it weren't for work.

I'll be fine. I know I will. I have to be in order to get out of here in December. Everyone keeps saying "keep your eye on the prize" but then they also say not to rush through things. What am I supposed to do? Looking back I know it will all be worth it, but is my misery really able to be belittled like that? Does that mean I can't vent my emotions to you? Can't you just listen and tell me it's all going to be okay?

Today is a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow is better. But for now, I just need to focus on not making a fool of myself by crying. Crying shows the rest of the world that you can't handle what it's giving you. I can handle it, and I will because I have to.

Please weekend. Please get here fast so I can put this terrible week behind me. It's only Wednesday but I don't know how much more of this I can take.