Tomorrow :)

I get to see the love of my life again tomorrow. I am soooo excited!! I have missed him so much and these past two weeks have been so hard without him. He’s my biggest fan and I’ve needed him a lot. It’s time likes these where I hate having a long-distance relationship.

Enough with the sadness. I get to see him tomorrow. I’m ready. Ready to be back where I belong – with the person I belong with. He means the world to me and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. December can’t come soon enough, but until then, I’ll settle for a weekend every two weeks or so.

I love you with all of my heart.

The Idea of Retrospection

It was brought to my attention the other day that I tend to ignore the past and shut the door on previous events. While there is some truth in that statement, I believe it’s not that I don’t confront it – but rather move on from things I cannot change (and don’t necessarily want to for that matter).

Everyone close to me knows that I am a very futuristic person. My eyes are always focused on where life is leading me, as opposed to where I came from. For my current job, I had to take a personality test, and one of my strengths listed was “Futuristic”. This does not necessarily mean that I don’t look to the past for answers or think about how I could have handled things differently in certain situations, it just means that I find inspiration in the future and what it holds.

When the past is behind me, it’s easy for me to forget about it and move on, due in part to my tendency to focus my attention on what tomorrow may bring. And while it is true that I may look forward when things are less-than-ideal in my current situation, that doesn’t mean that happens all of the time.

I think of my past as a moment in time – a chapter in my life. I never wish to go back, only to jump forward. I do not believe in regret. I feel like the decisions we’ve made (good or bad) were the best possible for that particular time and situation – otherwise we wouldn’t have made those choices! When you look back and evaluate what you’ve said or done, you can’t change anything; that’s a fact. Looking back only plagues you with thoughts and new viewpoints because you now have more information, insight, and life experience. But what good does that do now?

Every single decision I have made in my life has been one that has benefitted me. Does that mean that every choice made my life easier? Certainly not. But does it mean that I believe everything happens for a reason and that everything shapes you into the person you become? Absolutely.

My only issue that I have when looking back tends to be about people I have hurt with cruel words, immature actions, and/or misjudgments on my part. I have even hurt people in my future with things from my past – even if I hadn’t met them yet. That’s where my “shutting out” occurs. I want to shut out any possibility that I could have wronged someone or changed their life for the worse. But the irony is, the very thing that motivates me to ignored the past (that notion of wondering if I could have been kinder or if I could have been a little more humane) always triggers my visions into the past.

It’s interesting to me that most people look to their past and wonder “what if”, but I look back and see the fear and beauty of making a decision that affected my life for the best. It’s scary to think that I could have made wrong decisions, but it’s beautiful to see that I didn’t. That strange opposition of ideas is what confuses most people, but makes complete sense to me.

So Blessed.

Tonight I watched the Haiti telethon. All of the stories of survival were truly inspiring, but one stuck out to me. It was the story of the husband and wife. I remember hearing about them shortly after the earthquake. TV reports showed a man holding a driver’s license who was going person to person looking for his wife. He was determined to find her and was stopping at nothing and no one. My heart went out to him, knowing that his wife most likely was already dead.

6 days later, they found her – ALIVE!! She had survived (no doubt due to her strong feelings for her devoted husband).

Stories like these make me feel so lucky and blessed to have Phillip. I know that if we were in a similar situation, he would act the same way. The love we have is strong enough and consistent enough for me to know that. He loves me like no one has ever – and will ever – love me. It’s unconditional. I want everyone to have what I do. I have the love of my life that loves me back as strong and as much as I love him. What a powerful feeling!

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Based on the title, you should know this entry is not going to be interesting in the least bit. I’m laying in bed on my computer, waiting for Phillip to return from Buffalo Wild Wings. Once he gets back, we’ll talk on the phone – like we do every night – and then I’ll go to sleep. I’ve been going to sleep by midnight all week (a result of my early classes and long days) so tonight will be no different. I have to get up at 6:45 tomorrow morning for my classes and work.

Saturday won’t give me a break either. I have to be at school by 8:30 for a day of work training – until 5:00! This means I’ll be running on very little sleep and working extra hard. This also means that Sunday will have to accommodate all of the reading, studying, and homework I need to do. Not mention, I need to clean and wash clothes. But at least I get to go see Phillip next weekend, which will be a much-needed break from this busy semester.

I also got around to planning Phillip and I’s Valentine’s Day weekend. I’m surprising him. Keeping every single little detail a secret. It’s basically a form of “payback” for when he surprised me last – and proposed. I am beyond excited of it. I think it will be the closest thing to his “perfect date” as I can get with my funds and current school schedule. He’s going to love every second of that weekend!! I’ll make sure to fill you in on all of the little details after he gets his surprise.

Alright, it seems as though Phillip is on his way back to his apartment, so I’ll be bidding you farewell for the evening. Sleep is calling me and I must respond promptly. Night!

New Layout

So after posting my last update a little while ago, I realized that this blog needed a facelift. Therefore, here is the new “theme”. It’s centered around a scrapbook, which represents Phillip and I’s current status. We are recording as much as possible of the past, saving memories as we go through the present, and looking to the future for inspiration.

And for those of you just joining the followers of Phillip and I’s blog – WELCOME. Here you will find posts and updates about our life together – and a little about my life (Ashley) since I’m the author.

Thanks for joining!! And feel free to visit our newly created wedding website (c/o my dad): http://www.phillip-ashley.com

News! :D

So instead of my usual word vomit about how much I love and miss Phillip (which I do), I’ll enlighten all of you avid followers about current events.
Well, obviously you know that I’m already back in College Station. It’s sad. I know. I got in Sunday evening, and have since done some unpacking but that’s about it. The laundry from the break is still sitting on my floor (maybe I’ll get that done tonight or this weekend? Probably not.) and I have yet to clean a single square inch of this entire apartment. The dishes in the sink are mounding, taking out the trash is about three days overdue, and I can see the dust on top of my TV.
Why have I not done these things you may ask? It’s not necessarily that I am lazy, but more because of this intense first week of classes. I am taking 17 very involved hours this semester. This is going to prove to be the busiest and hardest semester of my entire college carrier. But it’ll be worth it….


BECAUSE I’M GRADUATING IN DECEMBER 2010 NOW!!!

That’s right everyone! I worked it out with my advisor and set the plan in motion to graduate in less than one year. It’s exciting, no? I’ll get an extra 6 months with Phillip before we get married! It also gives me a chance to start nursing school a semester earlier than planned and allow me to be home when all the craziness of wedding planning hits full-force. I’m ecstatic!

Prayer Request

Today, Phillip’s grandmother passed away (his dad’s mom). Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

SNEAK PEAK

As promised, I am going to post a snap shot from the tour we took of the Ballpark. Certainly don’t expect any more, but here is just a glimpse of how epic Phillip and I’s wedding reception is going to be…

Back in College Station

That’s right, I’m back. I cried just about the whole way from Waco. It always hits me really hard when I least expect it. I forget when I’m home for long periods of time what it’s like to be in a long distance relationship. Then I get back and remember. It’s no fun.

Still Not Ready

Tomorrow I head back south to school. I’ll be leaving in about 18 hours or so. I sure will be missing him a whole lot. I mean I’ll miss my family like I always do, but it’s different with Phillip. I can’t explain it, really. I’m going to miss him. I’m not ready. I will never fully be ready to leave him. It never gets easier. I’m going to miss him so much, it’ll hurt. :-(

New Laptop and Easier Blog Access

So I just bought a new laptop (woohoo!!). It was about time, seeing as my old laptop’s battery was wearing down, the hard drive was super slow, and the memory was nearly used up entirely.

Now I’m using Windows 7. It’s pretty cool from what I can see so far. But one of the best features is Windows Live Writer – I’m on it right now. I get to easily access my blog from my desktop, edit the pages in the format shown on the blog, and easily manipulate each entry and pictures. It give me easy access and tons of freedom to do whatever I want to this site. Look forward to seeing more creative posts. :)

P.S. This also means that I need to be publishing pictures more often. For instance, Phillip and I are kind of keeping our reception location’s details a secret - but possibly a preview of the ballpark to be posted soon?? ;)

His Story

So for our wonderful wedding website (http://www.phillip-ashley.com/) Phillip gave his perspective of proposing to me. I figured I'd post it because it was too cute... Feel free to check out our website too when you get the chance. :)

D-Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow is D-Day (aka Deposit-Day). We're going in at 3pm to meet with Melissa and sign a contract. It was kind of weird corresponding with her today. She needed to know the "bride and groom's contact information". It was the first time I had been referred to a bride on paper. Weird, but so cool at the same time. We're getting married one of the first three weekends in June of 2011. I am BEYOND EXCITED AND READY!!! WOOHOO!!! :)

Sad :(

So last night at 3am, it finally set in that I'm leaving the love of my life - once again - in 8 days. I couldn't help but get teary eyed. These long breaks are great because I get to see him just about every day, but they're hard to come back from. It's hard to jump back into reality and remember that we're in a long-distance relationship. It never gets easier, and in fact I think it's gotten harder since our relationship has matured so much recently. I want to stay here with him forever. It is going to take every ounce of my being to get back in the car and drive to College Station. I HAVE to finish out my school there, and I will - but it will still be very very sad and lonely. At least I have school to distract me, and at least there are only 2 more big breaks before we no longer have to say goodbye.

Success!

We went to take the tour last night and I was BLOWN AWAY! Of course, the more expensive suite ended up being the best, but it's incredible! I'm pretty sure it will be the location of our reception. Here are all of the wonderful things I LOVED about the location:

1. Melissa. She is the catering manager (aka event coordinator) for the space. We had a lot of people joining us for the tour and we fired so many questions at her. Without hesitation, she answered every single question thoroughly and never once pleaded ignorance. Her attention to detail and all of what she will be responsible for was so impressive.

2. How much is included. Not only would we be getting a coordinator (and her two assistants), but we would also have access to three colors of linens (ivory, white, and black) and over five colors of napkins. The staff will dress all of the tables and fold all of the napkins. The staff will also decorate the extra tables (buffet, cake, etc.) with any floral arrangements and/or candles they see fit. We will also have access to staple centerpiece items, like mirror tiles, vases, candles, and more. Not to mention, extra candles for decorating the room and the staff will light all of the candles.

3. The space. It is 17,000 square feet! There are four levels for tables/chairs (we would only need the top two levels), a "lounge" area, and upstairs hangout room. There's so much to see and absorb!

4. The wedding party suite. There's a 30-person suite right outside the club where the wedding party gets to snack, relax, bustle my dress and touch-up makeup. It's a great area to have some down time before making the big reception grand entrance.

5. Pictures on the field. Between the ceremony and reception, the wedding party gets to go down to the field and take the cutest pictures in the entire world. :)

6. The character. Throughout the whole space, there is character that makes it so charming and perfect. We would love to do a subtle baseball theme, and that's the best way I can describe the decor in the club.

Basically, the ballpark is perfect and it's where I want the reception to be. I can't even imagine finding a better place to have my first experiences as a married woman. This makes me even more excited than I already was! Before I was hoping the location would fit in with the vision, but the location officially passed my expectations. This is fantastic and I can't wait to get in there and start planning even more.


P.S. Phillip and I have a wedding website now. If you want to check it out, feel free. :) http://www.phillip-ashley.com/

Ballpark Tonight!!!!

Tonight, we're going to tour the Rangers Ballpark in Alrington - hopefully our future wedding reception site. I'm pretty excited!! It's not the museum that we originally had our sites set on, but there are still two other event space we get to look at. It'll be Phillip and his parents, Heather, Samantha, my parents and me touring.

The first place we'll see is the Diamond Club. It accomodates up to 1000 people. It's a large space, but it sounds like it has levels so we can still have an intimate reception. It's more expensive, but I'm sure it'll have it's high points.

The second place will be the Cuervo Club. It's a space for up to 250 people, which is about our maximum for guests anyway. This space has access to an outdoor balcony that overlooks the field. It's cheaper, and I have a feeling it'll be the one we look at the most tonight.

Both spaces have a dancefloor, food, housekeeping, free parking, cake-cutting, and set-up/take-down. Basically, we could go in without having to worry about extra things. I like that idea. :)

I'll let all of you know how it turns out after the grand tour.

I Don't Want to Go Back to College Station

I have two weeks left up here in Bedford and I'm glad it's not any less than that. This next year and a half is going to be VERY challenging for me. I really don't want to go back to College Station. I'd rather be here where I never have to say goodbye. Here where I get to see him whenver I want - and not just on random weekends. This long-distance thing has gotten so hard, and now with our future more visible than ever, it's even worse. I know I have to go back to College Station (and I will) but it'll be the hardest three semesters of college yet. :-/

Back from the Coast

We just got back from the coast. Phillip and I joined Samantha and Jeremy to travel down to Port Lavaca for New Years. The whole family had the chance to really get to know Phillip and I'm glad they did! They had all met him before, but this week they got to know who he is and why I love him so much. It made me feel really good when my grandmother told me that he "fits" with the family and she likes him. I knew they'd all love him, but what I was really impressed with was how much he opened up and how quickly he did so. It makes me want to marry him even more now!!!