I hear people saying all the time that love gets stronger with time and experiences. And I absolutely agree with that idea. I definitely love Phillip in a different way than I did when I was in high school. But what does that mean? What does that look like?
I have to pay homage to Taylor Swift for making these love songs that inadvertently make you think about things. They are playful little songs about how this guy's hair makes her love him or how talking on the phone late at night is a way to her heart. And they are catchy songs.
But then I combine her little songs with thoughts of a mature love and I wonder how I can connect to those little moments. Do I no longer get as much out of those small phone calls or how he fixes his hair? Does that mean my love for him is changing?
The answer to that question is a resounding no. Absolutely not. I do not love him any less or any differently. Just the things that make me stand back and think "man I love him" are not the same things that 16 year old Ashley (and Taylor Swift) would find meaning in.
His laughter doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is Elayne's laughter when he is playing with her.
His hair doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is how adorable it is when he can't figure out how to fix Elayne's hair and calls me for help.
His gifts he gives me on special holidays doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is when he gives me the gift of clean dishes put away or picks up the toys for me after a long day at work.
His physical appearance doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is how my physical appearance post-baby and post-college doesn't mean as much to him as it once did.
His saying "I love you" doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is when he gets Elayne to tell me she loves me.
Planning our future doesn't make my heart stop as often as it once did. What makes my heart stop now is realizing we are living our "future" now and realizing we get to have a future together.
What wonderful ways to explain how my love for him has changed. And it does get better than this.
