New Years

Tomorrow Phillip and I head down to the Texas coast with Samantha and Jeremy. I'm looking forward to the fun car ride, spending time with family I don't normally get to spend time with, and relaxing.

As I look back on 2009, I realize how much has happened. But the funny thing is, that other than the month of September, nothing really has happened this year. Everything has been pretty normal and expected. So this means that the best part of 2009 was September - which I'm completely okay with.

So what's in store for 2010? Well, some major wedding planning will hapen, particularly in the second half of the year. Until April, I'll be consumed with school and helping Heather plan the engagement party. It's crazy to think of where I'll be a year from now. I'll be one semester shy of graduating, moving back to north Texas, and getting married. 2011 will be one of the biggest years of my life, and I feel like 2010 will be spent preparing for that milestone of a year.

Crazy Break Thus Far

So since the crazy week of finals ended, it seems like the break has been even crazier - well, more like very eventful.

I arrived Wednesday night in time for some dinner and hanging out with family. Thursday Phillip and I spent the whole day taking down wallpaper and painting an entire bathroom at his parents' house. I felt pretty accomplished from that. Thursday night was more hanging with the family. Friday started the crazy and exciting weekend.

Phillip and I exchanged presents - I know it's early, but we've never even been able to last THIS long before giving each other our gifts. We'll have to work on that before getting married... develop some sort of system so we have SOMETHING to open on Christmas day from each other. I bought him a gorgeous dress watch from Fossil. I'd like to take the credit for picking out such a perfect gift, but alas, I must admit that he pointed it out several weeks ago. But at least I remembered, it right? He coincidentally enough bought me a watch from Fossil too! It's a more casual one that I can wear every day (saving my dress one for nicer occasions). After exchanging gifts and taking Max to the boarder for the weekend, we left with his parents for San Antonio. Upon arriving and settling into the timeshare we ended up with, we walked down to the riverwalk and had margaritas and sopapillas. DELICIOUS!

Saturday, we walked to the football game - the whole reason we took the trip. The game was extremely exciting and our high school won the state championship!! The conclude the evening, we had more margaritas and called it an early night. Sunday we shopped at the outlets in San Marcos before coming back to Bedford, where I spent another evening with my family.

Yesterday Phillip and I went to have my engagement ring appraised. The appraiser gave us GREAT news and was able to give me some more interesting information about the diamond my grandmother gave me. So cool! After that, I tagged along with Samantha for some of her last-minute shopping.

And today, I've just kind of been running around doing errands and such. We had our girls' secret santa exchange and seeing all of them made me really happy.

Tomorrow, Phillip and I will be spending all day together. I'm so excited! We haven't had any "date" time in a while and it'll be great to spend one-on-one time with him. Yay!!

Well if I don't write again until after Christmas, I hope all of you have a blessed one! :)

Phillip + Finals = Neglect

I'm so sorry to have neglected this blog for the past week. Phillip's visit and studying for finals are to blame.

When Phillip's in town or I'm spending time with him, I tend to completely shut off the rest of the world. I don't really know if that's supposed to be a good thing or bad... It's good because that shows that I'm still madly in love with him and he still has all of my attention. It's pretty bad because obviously I lose track of things and forget about people. I need to work on a balance.

Finals have been pretty low-key for me this semester. Well, I say that, but it's because I've had 3 finals before the actual "finals" period began. I have my Anatomy final this afternoon (getting dressed to leave soon) and my History of Jazz final tomorrow. That's all that separates me from home.

I've been really homesick the past couple of days. Thankfully Phillip coming in town took a little edge off of it. Everyone's back home except for me. They're having fun while I'm stuck here studying for finals. Luckily tomorrow's final should be pretty simple and the studying shouldn't take more than a couple of hours. So cleaning, washing, and packing will consume my life this afternoon and evening.

I'm so ready to be home and celebrate Christmas with my family. Wednesday I'll spend the evening relaxing, Thursday and Friday I'll help Phillip start our home-improvement projects around his parents' house, and Thursday night and Friday night I'll spend more time with family. Saturday morning I'm going with Phillip and his parents to San Antonio for the high school football state championship. I've gotta be honest though, I'm looking more forward to the margaritas on the river walk and shopping in San Marcos more than the actual game Saturday afternoon. I'll be coming back Sunday afternoon to spend the whole next week surrounded by people I love and people that love me to usher in the Christmas holiday.

It's the MOST WONDERFUL time of the year!!! :D

SURPRISE!!!

I was getting ready for my Ags of OAK Christmas party tonight when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I called for Tabitha but she didn't answer. I thought I was going crazy so I ignored it. But then the knock persisted. I opened the door and there he was!! Standing looking so great!! Phillip was supposed to get here Thursday evening. He was supposed to have a final tomorrow. But the final got moved to yesterday. So he decided to conspire with my roommate to surprise me. :) I LOVE HIM!!!

New Years on the Coast

Usually between Christmas and New Years, my family travels down to the Texas coast to spend time together at my aunt and uncle's beach house. This year my parents have decided not to go for various reasons. However, Phillip and I have decided that we're going to make the 6-hour journey down to see everyone - and it was Phillip's idea!!

I'm really excited about it! We'll get to see a lot of family (some of which haven't ever met Phillip or have only briefly years ago), walk on the beach, and ring in the new year together. I love him so much for this - among other reasons. And I can't wait to have a few days to show my extended family how incredible he is and what a wonderful addition he will make. :]

Merry Christmas Darling

Greeting cards have all been sent.


The Christmas rush is through,

But I still have one more wish to make-

A special one for you.



Merry Christmas Darling

We're apart that's true


But I can dream and in my dreams


I'm Christmas-ing with you!



Holidays are joyful;

There's always something new,

But every day's a holiday


When I'm near to you!



The lights on my tree, I wish you could see

I wish it every day

The logs on the fire fill me with desire

To see you and to say...



That I wish you a Merry Christmas-

Happy New Year, too!

I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve

I wish I were with you!



The lights on my tree, I wish you could see

I wish it every day

The logs on the fire fill me with desire

To see you and to say...



That I wish you a Merry Christmas-

Happy New Year, too!

I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve

I wish I were with you!

I wish I were with you!

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Darling!

Merry December Everyone!

I guess when November turns into December, rainy and cold weather automatically appear. Hmph. It's hard to stay warm and dry when you have things to do. But at least it feels like Christmas. I need Phillip to be here to snuggle with. It's hand-holding-season for crying out loud!

9 days until he's here in College Station with me....

It's the Holiday Season

I love love love love LOVE Christmastime!!! It's by far my favorite holiday and I look forward to it every year. This year will be particularly great since I'm feeling closer than ever to Phillip.

I honestly didn't even think I could feel more in love with him. It seems like since we've gotten engaged, we're inseparable and can't get enough of each other! Every time I'm with him, everything seems so right and perfect. So this year's Christmas will be filled with more love than I ever thought possible.

Tonight, I'm decorating my apartment with my roommate. I must admit, the thought makes me wish it was 2 years from now. Phillip and I will be decorating for our first Christmas. That one will probably top the next two - though it's hard to imagine that now.

This time in the year is always the hardest for school and being homesick. I had a taste of family and the holidays this past week and the last thing I want to do is come back here and study for final exams. I have about 2 weeks left here before speeding home to Bedford for a great Christmas!! :D

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year I'm thankful for a whole bunch of things. I have an incredible family that hasn't had to face any tragedies in the past year. I have great friends who always keep me laughing and take care of me when I'm at school. And I have a new fiance that has made all of my dreams come true. Can you get any more blessed than this!?

Burnt Out

Do you ever have those times in your life where you just want to be left alone to your own thoughts? That's me right now. This past week, and even through today, I've just wanted to be alone. I'm so burnt out on school. This week has been a heavy one due to the 10th anniversary of the bonfire collapse. I haven't had any motivation to do anything school-related. I miss Phillip a whole lot. I've been super bored, which gives me entirely too much time to think. And I'm just ready to be home. Hopefully this weekend will let me recharge enough for the last few days here. Then several days at home with great friends and family (and PHILLIP) should give me enough energy for the remainder of the semester.

But what I'm looking forward to the most is Christmas break. I'm ready to be surrounded by people I love and people that love me. I'm ready for a break from school and a slight break from College Station.

I want to be home already.

It Has Been a While...

I do appologize to my dedicated followers for my lack of updating recently. It's not even that anything big has been going on, I guess it's just that I've been so lazy lately. I'm ready for a break from school over Thanksgiving and especially Christmas. I have gone to school with no breaks straight since Christmas of my freshman year. That's right, I mean I've taken classes every summer and even during a wintermester last year. I think it's time for a break with no studying or tests. Perhaps I'll catch up on some leisure reading?

Phillip and I are still great. I love being with him and can't believe how much time I still want to spend with him after all of these years. Lately it seems like half of my friends are getting engaged and the other half are separating or divorcing. It's a mixture of emotions, really. While I have my opinions about specific people on both sides of the spectrum, my overall feeling is completely eclipsed by where I see Phillip and I going. I know we're going to last, mainly because of how our relationship has developed over such a long time. When 5 years feels like 5 months, you know you have a good thing.

Emotional

For the past 36 hours or so, I've been extremely emotional for some reason. I guess it's Phillip leaving and being thrust back into the reality of tests and projects. The weather has also been quite a bit gloomy and depressing.

I got an email from the event coordinator at the ballpark this morning. It turns out, she will be without a job come December 15, and there might be no way of having our reception there. Great. I'm trying not to panic, but instead am trying to figure out who to talk to and what to say to see if there's still a chance. I've kind of been exploring other options, but none can compare to the price or atmosphere that the Ballpark has. I will keep you updated.

For the rest of the week, I have a quiz, a project, and a test. After that, it's a relaxing couple of days and seeing Phillip for about 24 hours. I don't like the shortness of the trip, but it's better than nothing. Lately I've been so attached to him. I have never been in love this much and needed him this often. Hmph.

This next year and a half better fly by faster than it seems like it is already...

He's HERE

That's right ladies and gentlemen, Phillip is in College Station. He's sitting right next to me on the couch and I'm loving every second of the time we've spent together so far and the time we will spend together as the weekend goes on. Pretty much, I just love him more than you will ever know. And I'm beyond content right now. Yay for a great weekend!!

The Countdown

We're now down to 5 hours until I see my wonderful fiance again - 2 hours until he leaves Arlington. I'm so excited!! This weekend will be so great. :)

Things to be Happy About

1. Phillip is coming in town tomorrow for the weekend.

2. My engagement ring will be making the trip down with Phillip - resized and engraved. :)

3. I researched jewelry appraisers, and found one in Dallas. He's the one Robins Brothers (the store my ring was purchased at) recommended. He will appraise the ring for $75 (about average for appraisals, I have found) and do it on the spot in 30 minutes (everyone else said 7-14 days!!) I'll arrange an appointment some time during Christmas break.

4. Phillip and I have decided on a photographer for our wedding! Of course, it's not official since we don't have a date and haven't put down a deposit, but we've still made up our minds on the person and he has already agreed. Who will it be, you might ask? Mr. Ryan Gladstone himself. Many of you don't know him. He graduated a year before Phillip and I entered high school, but we graduated with his younger brother, Eric. Ryan is still considered Trinity's all-time best photographer. He'll do it for a reasonable price and will do a great job!! He just graduated from college and recently opened a wedding photography business. His portfolio has a photojournalistic quality, so we'll get a story of our wedding instead of a bunch of posed pictures. I'm way excited!! Here's his website for any of you interested in seeing his work: http://www.ryangladstonephoto.com/

5. Did I mention I get to see Phillip tomorrow? :D

Bored in the Computer Lab

Right now I'm sitting in the computer lab, bored out of my mind. I'm in that weird inbetween class layover time. There's not enough time to go back to my apartment or put in an office hour for work, but too much time to go ahead and walk over to my next class.

I already printed out all of the notes I need for my classes this week, and my typical online routine is complete. So now what? I could dive into some Googling or web surfing, but the chances of someone looking over my shoulder are pretty high. Perhaps I'll go grab a cup of coffee??

I had dreams last night about wedding stuff - again. I can't believe they're already beginning. Luckily, they're about solving problems and not about being swamped in rediculous situations. Annoying, nonetheless.

Successfull and Hopeful

This weekend was such a success! I had a blast just hanging out with my Phillip. We didn't even really do anything at all. There wasn't a moment of boredom the entire weekend, which felt incredible. It was nice to watch some sports games together and lay around in the afternoons. We got to paint two canvases together too.

Last night's dinner with the parents was good. They toasted to us and our future. It felt like the beginning of many more to come. That made me very happy. :)

For this week, I have a pretty light load. I have the typical busy Tuesday, but other than that, I have a lot of down time. Phillip is coming in town for the weekend too. He'll be here Thursday night and will stay through the weekend. Tabitha's going home Friday, so we'll get to roam free with no obligations - just like this past weekend.

I have to say, having weekends together in an apartment by ourselves makes us feel like we're already married and settled together. As I left Arlington today, I couldn't help thinking that I should be staying there and not driving 3 hours back to College Station. It feels so right to be spending all of my time with him. We talk and laugh and enjoy simply sitting next to each other. How often can one find a love so strong and easy like that?

Lucky

I gave my ring to the jeweler yesterday to be resized and engraved. It was sad seeing it go. My hand feels so empty. At least I get it back Thursday, instead of having to be without it during Thanksgiving or Christmas break. I knew this would happen, so it's good to get it over with sooner rather than later.

So last night Phillip and I went to the jewelry store, then had dinner at Red Robin and came back to his apartment to play games and watch the Mavs game. It was so much fun being able to hang out with him and just laugh. These are some of the moments I miss the most when we're hours apart from each other.

Today is going to be much of the same things as last night. We might play some card games. We're going to eat lunch soon, paint some canvases together (yay!!) and then tonight we're eating dinner with both sets of parents at On the Border. I love getting our parents together because everyone gets along so well!

When I explain Phillip and I's relationship to other people, a popular theme is how easy it is. It's so easy to be with something when 1) you love each other so deeply, and 2) your families like each other so much. It's so easy!!

I'm pretty much the happiest girl in the world - still. I'm engaged to the love of my life AND I get to marry him in just over a year and a half. I only wish everyone else is the world could be this lucky. :]

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig :)

I leave for Arlington tomorrow. I can't wait. It feels like forever since I've seen him last. And it's been even longer than that since Phillip and I have been able to have an entire weekend to ourselves with nothing really on the agenda and no having to "make rounds" to all of our friends and family. I feel like things are finally winding down since the start of our engagement, and we can finally sit back and relax during this little time we have before jumping into wedding planning.

Speaking of wedding planning, here's an update for any of you wondering:

I should be getting an update from the Ballpark any day now. If the head even coordinator doesn't call me by about Nov. 3, I was instructed to email or call her. She was told she'd know the set fate of the museum by the end of October. So here's hoping it'll still be an incredible event space and that she'll be able to set up an appointment with me to come view the finished product over Christmas break!!

Also, my wedding dress fund now has $317 in it. I'm pretty proud of myself. Every time I get any form of cash - whether it be $2 or $200 - I've been putting it in a nice envelope in my room. My goal, like I've been saying, is at least $1000 by this next summer since that's when I'm likely to purchase THE gown. I think the goal is completely attainable, seeing as about $175 of the fund I have so far has been saved without any real inconvenience and without me taking money out to put aside. Next semester, I'll start with taking a little money out to jumpstart the final push.

As far as bridal party in concerned, Phillip and I have decided on 6 each. Most of my bridesmaids know they're going to be in the wedding, but I'm going to official ask soon (probably in December). I'm going to ask them in a sweet way. :)

Back to wedding gown shopping. After much thinking and consideration, I'm pretty sure I've decided that for my initial shopping, I just want my mom, two sisters, and maybe Phillip's mom to join me. I want a small group instead of a massive one filled with friends with many different opinions. Then, for my fittings, I can invite my slew of girl friends. But then again, this plan could change....

Now that you have the update, I can talk about this weekend some more. Tomorrow, when I get to Arlington, Phillip and I are going up to Robins Bros (where my ring was purchased) for resizing, engraving, a free cleaning, and maybe an appraisal. We were going to wait until Thanksgiving, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I want to get it done sooner. One, because this spacer I've been wearing is driving me nuts. And two, after thinking about it, I realized that people will be home during Thanksgiving who haven't seen it yet, and imagine their dismay when I don't have it with me. So this weekend, I'll let it go and nexxt weekend when Phillip comes in town (yes you heard right! two weekends in a row!!), he'll bring it back. So it'll only be a week, and not in a week that will be busy with people wanting to see my ring. I'm excited to get it done and make the ring feel more permanent. :)

Well, that's it for my tons of writing. This was a longer update than I had originally anticipated. I guess it's because I'm waiting for the insurance appraisers to get here to look at my car and have nothing better to do while I wait.

Compliments

Yesterday, two different girls at very different places and times told me that my engagement ring is "REALLY REALLY PRETTY". It made me smile quite a bit bigger than usual, I must admit. I like it when people notice how sparklie it is.

It makes me miss Phillip even more, though. He's supposed to be next to me when someone makes a comment about his purchase. He's supposed to be able to say "oh well she didn't pick it out, hahaha." It's times like these when I really wish he was here to enjoy this time with.

But on a lighter note, I do get to see him this weekend. I'll be in Arlington from Friday until Sunday early afternoon. I'm ready to have a relaxing weekend with nothing to do but hang out with the love of my life 24/7. I'm really looking forward to it. :)

Good So Far

This morning I woke up to a nice little thunderstorm. While it did get me up half an hour before my alarm, it was nice to have a great sound instead of an annoying alarm. It's still raining, and will for the next couple of hours. I love rain.

Phillip and I have been texting quite a bit today, probably a little more than usual. And right now, we're evening chatting it up on facebook's chat window while Phillip is in class. I know, he should be listening, but according to him, talking to me is more fun than the boring videos they're currently watching in class.

For the rest of the day, I will be doing a couple of online quizes for Women's Health and studying for the Anatomy quiz tomorrow morning. I've reviewed the material a little and actually feel quite confident about it. I just need to get down to it and study the stuff to permanently put it in my brain.

P.S. Jalapeno and cream cheese poppers with curly fries for lunch/snack. :)

More Missing Him

5 days until I get to see him again. I really can't wait! I miss him very much. But I guess all of you that follow this already know that.

This weekend has certainly been better than this past week. We got to talk for a good while last night and had great conversations.

This coming weekend should be fun. Even if we just sit around and watch TV together, I'll be happy. I enjoy being with him.

This week should fly by and be pretty easy. One easy test tomorrow, two quizes on Tuesday, then home free until I see Phillip Friday.

Dear Phillip

I feel like we haven't had a long conversation in a while. I can't wait for our schedules to slow down and line up so we can talk more.

Love you LOTS!!
Ashley

I'm missing him a lot right now. This week we've been a little tense with each other, with exams and just being busy with our day-to-day lives. But I still wish he were right here next to me, holding my hand.

All morning, I was remembering the night Phillip proposed. Ever since that night, my head has been spinning, and today I got to stop and remember that I have never felt this much love from him ever.

I love him. Period.

Over A Week

I know, it's been quite some time since I've updated this. I've been pretty busy. I went home this past weekend to hang out with all of my friends and family (and of course, Phillip too). It was a great weekend (the girl rearending me aside).

And this week I've been trying to play catch-up, successfully. For the west of the week and into the weekend, I'm going to relax and get ahead for once.

P.S. I miss him again.

Midterms

This week has been pretty filled already and will continue to be filled for the remainder of the week. Why you ask? Because of midterms.

I had two MAJOR midterms yesterday, Phillip has two midterms today and I have yet another one tomorrow. It's a crazy week, filled with studying and keeping outside connections to a minimum. It's been rough, and Phillip and I have tried to talk as much as possible here and there.

It's weeks like these when I realize that I am at school and not just away at camp. It's rigorous, but will be worth it when I recieve that wonderful diploma in May of 2011.

I have a lot of misc. to-dos to complete in the next 48 hours, but know I can get them done. I have willpower, and lots of coffee. Plus, come Friday, I will reap the benefits of a hard week's work. I will have nothing on the agenda for the weekend, and nothing to worry about until Monday evening. I get a nice break for going home to see my family, friends, and fiance (the three Fs, if you will).

But until then, I must work. So it's off to more studying and classes for me.

Don't Turn Around, You're Gonna See My Heart Breaking

That's right - all of my avid readers (aka Heather and Dad) - he's gone again. Gone back to Arlington to spend another week without me.

Luckily this weekend I'll get to spend some more time with him. However, this being spoiled with seeing him every weekend is going to end soon and I'll be in complete and utter shock. But for the time being, he's gone and I'm once again sad to see him go.

It doesn't get easier with less miles between us. It doesn't get easier the more times we have to partake in this sobfest of goodbyes. It doesn't get any easier the less time between opportunities to see each other. It'll only get easier when we don't have to do it anymore.

I can't wait for that day when I'm back for good, when we no longer have to say goodbye, and when our lives are together as one. I'm looking forward to that more than any of you will ever know. :(

Another Day

He's staying an extra day!!! Hooorraaaaayyyy! I'm pretty happy about now.

P.S. Happy Engagement Anniversary! :) We've been engaged for a month now. I can't believe it.

Just Sitting

I decided today that I really like just sitting next to Phillip on the couch. He's been working on athletic department stuff and I've been studying for my anatomy exam. It's nice to be able to just sit together with the TV on in the background. It feels like we're married and living together. It makes me look forward to it even more. I love him, love being with him, love spending time with him, and love sitting next to him. That's all I need to be happy. He's just that good. :]

Phillip Is Sitting Next To Me

That's right. He decided to come in town for the weekend - suddenly. He's great like that. I can't complain at all. Woohoo!! :D

Always Looking to the Future

I keep thinking about Phillip and I's future.

When I think about our lives together, I don't picture the wedding, or the reception, or the honeymoon. I picture our first apartment, going grocery shopping together, and laying around on a Sunday afternoon. I picture us finally getting to spend every available waking minute together.

I can't wait for us to pick out our first place and decide on decorations. I want to put it all together, and settle into a comfy and wonderful life together. I'm looking forward to the newlywed years, and even beyond that (though that dreaming will come later). I want to make him dinner every night. I want to sit around on the couch and watch TV all weekend long. I want our first Christmas to be one filled with so much love and a modest tree. I want to just sit with him for hours.

These little things may sound boring to the everyday person, but for me, they represent something so much bigger. All of this means that Phillip and I will be husband and wife. We will be together forever. I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. And that alone will make all of the boring stuff so much fun and an opportunity to grow together.

"...Two More Years and You'll be Done with School..."

This weekend was a pretty good weekend. I got to see Phillip at my parent's house for all of one hour. It was bittersweet. I'm really glad I could see him, but kind of bummed it was only for a little while. I wish there could have been another way to have seen him. I sure do miss that guy. I hope the next 12 days go by quickly. I have 3 exams and then him. I can't wait to spend more than an hour with him.

Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks are looking sweeter and sweeter.

One day we won't have to say goodbye anymore. That day will be one of the best days of my life.

3 Weeks

So it looks like I won't be seeing Phillip until the 16th of October. That's nearly 3 weeks away. I'm really not happy with it, but it just won't work any other weekend.

This coming weekend I'm headed up to Arlington for the football game. Grace has the whole weekend mapped out and printed into a schedule. Get this, there's no spot for Ashley to go visit Phillip. Hmph.

But next weekend, I could quite possibly head to Arlington to spend the weekend with Phillip, but that won't really be smart. I have two (possibly three) major exams the following week that make up half of my total grade for those courses. So they're huge exams that I will need the whole weekend to study for. Plus, I have a review that Friday night until 6pm, so I wouldn't be able to get to Arlington until at least 9:00. It would just be entirely too complicated to go up there that weekend.

Therefore, October 16th it is, much to my dismay. We have been pretty good about not going more than 2 weeks without seeing each other since first semester of this past school year. It'll be difficult, but I know it'll make that weekend we get to see each other more special.

But don't you worry, you'll get an earful over the next 3 weeks about how much I miss him. I figured you'd like that.

Lonely

I drove back to my apartment today from Austin. When I walked in the door and put my stuff in my room, I realized that Phillip wasn't with me. It was a very empty feeling, to say the least. I miss him already.

This weekend with him was a blast. I felt like we were a REAL couple. For the first time, I actually felt engaged to him. This weekend really made my marrying him no longer something I couldn't believe.

It's finally starting to sink in that I will be marrying him in a little over a year and a half. I like that feeling. :)

So what's in store for me this week? Well, I have two quizes on Tuesday, and not much after that until Friday. This weekend I'm going with some girlfriends up to Arlington for the A&M game at the new Cowboys stadium. I'm kind of bummed that it looks like they won't give me time to go see Phillip. He'll be so close. I'm not exactly thrilled about the trip since it will be the fourth out of the last five weekends that I'll be out of town. Can't I just sleep in and enjoy doing nothing? I suppose that's for the following weekend though.

Tomorrow: Austin Bound

Tonight is a bittersweet night.

On one hand, it's the last night with Phillip in my apartment for a while. I'm really going to miss him, and come Sunday, it'll be awfully lonely here.

On the other hand, I get to spend two more nights with him in Austin after tonight, so there's no goodybyes yet. It'll be fun to do our first vacation as an engaged couple. Plus, I get to see Heather for the first time in a very long time, my grandparents, my cousin, my family, and Phillip's cousins. It's the first time that I feel like we're making our rounds as a permanent couple. Exciting!!!

That's Better :)

I missed him so much. As soon as I saw him, I almost teared up with happiness. He is my other half and I just haven't felt complete without him here. Man I love him.

I get to see him tomorrow!!!
I feel like it's been entirely too long, even though it's only been about 8 days since I've seen him last. This time has just felt like years.

Disbelief - STILL

I wake up every morning in disbelief that I get to marry the man of my dreams. I still can't believe that he is all mine and can't believe that I love him this much. How did I get to be so lucky?

I get to see him on my birthday, which is Tuesday. He's beyond nice for doing that. He's taking just about a whole week of school so he can spend time with me and then my family this coming weekend. How perfect is that?

Turning 21 with my fiance is the best way I could think of spending my evening. We'll go somewhere to eat and then come back to my apartment to hang out. That's what I'm looking forward to - just hanging out with him.

Last weekend was such a whirlwind that - with the exception of Friday evening - we didn't get to just be with each other. So that'll be nice this coming week.

Now I must go study and clean so i can devote the most time possible to him.

I love you Phillip!

Wedding Planning Thus Far

So this week, I've done what any newly engaged girl does - sat down to do some preliminary planning.

Now, Phillip and I are still planning on saying 'I do' sometime in the summer of 2011, but it's never too early to assemble a game plan.

I took my personal list of things that need to get done, and combined that list with 3 others I found from various wedding sources to compile a Master To Do List for the next year and 9 months. It is so full, but at least I know what to do and when to start doing it.

From now until December, Phillip and I just have to narrow down our vision, hash out a rough budget, and enjoyn being engaged. :)

In December, we're getting my ring resized and engraved - haven't decided what to engrave yet, though (add that to the list!!!). We're also touring the Ballpark (our hopeful reception site). If we love it, we'll put a deposit down for a specific date!! Then, if we have time, we'll try to reserve the date at a church in Arlington. It'll be a big month, but not as busy as the coming months.

Pretty much the big planning starts next summer and takes off from there. For the next nine months, I need to just prepare myself for the fastest and busiest months of my life. Oh yeah, and I'll still be in school and keeping up with a long-distance relationship.

I'm ready to marry Phillip, though. More ready than I ever have been. These next several months will fly by and then I'll get to begin my life with the man of my dreams. I'm anxious, nervous, but excited at the same time. It's easy to be excited when you know you're doing the right thing. :D

mishoo

I know this is starting to sound old and overdone, but I really miss Phillip. I get to see him in just 4 days, but the past 5 have seemed like a lifetime. This time I miss him more than I ever have, easily. I was not ready to say goodbye on Sunday. I wasn't ready to leave. I wasn't ready to drive away from my new fiance. Now I sit here missing him and painfully counting down the days until he gets here to give me a huge hug.

Update :)

I have been so busy basking in the light of this engagement this week. While I don't particularly like the attention of strangers who sneak into my conversations with my friends, I LOVE the positive attention from my wonderful friends and family.

Phillip and I have so much great support, and that feeling is pretty incredible. We haven't had one single person say anything remotely negative, or even neutral.

I also can't stop looking at my ring! It sparkles so much! I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is hold up my hand. I feel like I need to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. This ring reminds me of the best weekend of my life, and all the feelings I have for Phillip surface. Who knew that such a material possession could have the power to bring up so many non-material emotions?

I miss him a lot too. Probably more than I ever have. I do get to see him this Tuesday (for my birthday) and he's staying through Sunday. But it can't come soon enough. I have never felt this much love for him or from him. This is such an incredible high and I don't want it to ever go away.

When he proposed to me, I didn't cry - though I wanted to. But since then, my emotions have been building and now I tear up every time I think about that night, the future, and our love. This state I'm in is love euphoria and I don't want it to end. Ever.

I am truly the happiest girl in the entire world.

I Said YES

So if you haevn't heard by now, PHILLIP ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM!!!

That was my big surprise I was talking about, apparently. So the story? The pictures? The future? My thoughts on everything? Here it is....

Friday
I drove into Arlington and arrived at Phillip's apartment at 5. It was just early enough so that I could spend time with him before getting ready. I then showered at about 5:30. Then I shut the door in Phillip's room so I could get ready and truly stun him when I walked out. It worked. At 7:10, I walked out to see the love of my life with the best look on his face - love. He really liked the way I looked that night. :)

We left the apartment at 7:15. It was pouring down rain, but luckily I love rain and we had an umbrella. All of the night's events were still a surprise to me. I was expecting us to maybe go to a nice restaurant or steakhouse either in the Arlington Hilghlands area or back near home. So imagine my surprise when we veered off to 183 east. By this time I was lost and stopped guessing. As we entered downtown Dallas, the wonder was taking over and I just wanted to be wherever we were going.

There it was. The Hilton Anatole. I had heard many wonderful things about this hotel, but had never been inside. We pulled up to the valet (yes - valet!!), and got out. The hotel was beautiful and very impressive. Even the elevator was a piece of art. Everyone was dressed up, and as we rode the elevator to the 27th floor (the top), my stomach was filled with butterflies from intrigue and excitement.

We ate at Nana's restaurant. The food was delicious and expensive. My chair was pulled out for me, they placed my napkin in my lap, and everything had long and hard to pronounce names. I felt like a princess and a VIP at the same time. I must have had a smile on my face bigger than a kid in a candy store.

Drinks: We each had distilled water and iced tea - both in fancy glasses.
Appetizers: The chef gave us complimentary appetizers, I guess because he was trying a new creation. It was limeade with mint and cocanut. It was served cold and had a delicious froth on top.
Starter: Phillip didn't find anything he had wanted (probably nervous by this point), but I had a potato-like soup. A large spoonful of frothed sour cream was served in a fancy bowl, topped with flame-crisped chives. Tableside, they poured a creamed potato and milk mixture over the sour cream and chives. It was also served cold, which sounds weird, but it was still good. Beautiful presentation and I felt special having a "tableside presentation".
Main Course: Phillip had a NY Strip steak, marinated with a lemon sauce and served with parmesan and rosemary (i think??) french fries. Of course, they weren't called french fries in the menu, rather something like "crisp portioned potatoes" or something else fancy. My dinner was GREAT! I had grilled salmon on top of a sweet sauce that was drizzled on the plate. There were two mini lamb ribs, glazed in that same sweet sauce. All of that was served on top of carrots and sweet peppers sauteed with garbonzo beans. The salmon was so moist, but still cooked throughout, and the lamb meat literally fell off the bone.

I must also talk about the wonderful view from our table. We sat right near the window. It was a panoramic view of downtown Dallas. I could see all of the trademark buildings, along with reunion tower. To top it all off, the lightening cascading accross the sky added a great affect. I'd give that restaurant an A for atmosphere, and an A for food.

After dinner, we went back down to the valet and after getting in the car, Phillip started driving through Dallas. By this time, I figured we were headed to the place we'd be staying for the night. I was right. We drove up to the hotel. It was on the corner of Binchley and Hillcrest, right next to the SMU campus. GORGEOUS HOTEL.

We had valet parking again (yes, I was the princess that night!) and took my things up to the room. When I walked in the door, the room was the nicest I had ever seen. It was the most expensive Lux Suite with a kitchen, living room, huge bedroom, huge shower, and a balcony that wrapped around the entire corner suite. Phillip had also added a personal touch of 3 bouquets of flowers.

Phillip then decided that we needed to go on the balcony to take a picture of the two of us, since we hadn't earlier. So we werent out to the balcony. He set up his tripod and fancy camera. He tested the light, and then we started taking pictures. It took a couple of shots, but then we got a good one. Phillip then said we needed to take one more just in case. I agreed. He set the timer and walked over to where I was. Then, he dropped to one knee and said, "Will you marry me?" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I couldn't believe this was actually happening!! The flash went off in the midst of this, documenting that moment. The first words out of my mouth: "Oh my gosh!" I didn't cry, though I felt like I was going to. I was in shock, to the point of speechlessness.

The rest of the evening was filled with a champagne toast, spending some time together, and calling/texting all of our friends and family.

Saturday
I couldn't sleep at all Friday night. I was way too excited. So when 9:00 came, I got up. Phillip and I watched the rain outside the windows, and ate a great breakfast in bed. We were lucky enough to get complementary room service due to a slight, and minor, mix-up earlier. I had a bowl of fruit and a bagel, while Phillip had a bacon fritatta (spelling?) with rosemary potatoes and toast.

For lunch, we drove down the street to Burger House. It was a greasy indoor burger stand, that proved to be quite tasty. By the way, it was still pouring down rain at this point, which it did for the rest of the weekend without stop. But you know, I love rain!!

After lunch, we went to my parents' house to hang out for a little while. My parents were so excited and happy, though they had known of this whole plan for a couple of months. My whole family knew. I can't believe they kept this a secret from me!

During this time, I went to Manda's to show her my ring and talk to her, then went to Plato's Close to see Christine for the same reasons. There, I also got a dress for Saturday night.

After all of this, it was 5:00, so we had to go back to Arlington to get ready for the Hall of Honor banquet for UTA athletics. Phillip had to take pictures and Josh had to record for a story, so Ashley Stewart and I both went as dates. It was our first official outing as fiances. One of Phillip's coworkers even said, "So this is your girlfriend?" to which Phillip responded, "well, my fiance." EEEEEEKKK! :D

After the banquet, we changed and went with Josh and Ashley to see Extract at the Parks Mall. It was an okay movie, but hard to concentrate on when all of this exciting stuff was happening.

Sunday
We woke up Sunday morning, and got ready rather quickly. We then headed to Phillip's parents' house to visit with them and watch the game. We had chilli dogs. Phillip's mom gave me a wedding magazine, a very thoughtful card welcoming me to the family, and money to go get a manicure.

At half time, we went to see Phillip's grandmother down the street and spend some time with her. Then it was back to my house to see my second and third sets of families (very close family friends) who were at my house for the game. After making our rounds, Phillip said goodbye.

I visited some more, then went with my big sister to get my nails done since I don't trust anyone here in College Station. We talked a lot and had a great time. Then it was back to my house for visiting before leaving to go back to school.

My heart was breaking the entire drive back. I have never missed him so much, never loved him this much. This weekend was such a growth experience, and I was not ready to leave him again. But luckily I get to see him in 9 days for 6 days straight!

The Future
We are still planning on getting married in the summer of 2011. For the next 6-9 months, all we have to do is enjoy being engaged, possibly book the prospective venues, and have an engagement party. The hardcore planning doesn't start until this next summer with dress shopping!! I'm excited, but realize it'll be a lot of work.

I'm beyond happy. I'd say I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. He makes me so happy and I feel so much love from him. I can't wait to be Mrs. Ashley Nicole Long. It's still a while away, but I'm definitely a big step closer. I love my fiance!!!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I Love You Tomorrow

I get to see him tomorrow. I'm so excited to see what he has planned. I think I have some of it figured out, simply because I know him. But last night he said what he had in mind isn't anything I could guess.

We'll see. I'll let you know how close I was and also what his surprise ends up being.

I can't wait! Phillip's really into this surprise, and it's making me so curious!

Plus, I get to spend a whole weekend with him again. I'm pretty much the happiest girl in the world right now. :)

5 days!!

5 days! 5 days! 5 days! 5 days!

I get to see Phillip in 5 days!

We're celebrating our 5 year anniversary this weekend. I know it's not as big as a wedding anniversary, but it's still a significant milestone. He has some sort of fun surprise for me. I had to buy a dress and everything. I'm VERY excited. :)

My Superman

Today I woke up to find a roach in our kitchen. Now if you know anything about me at all, it's that I am terrified of them. So about that time this morning, I wished Phillip would come down to College Station and pick it up for me. That's what he does. He saves me from anything - no questions asked, and no making fun of me. He's just great like that.

This Last Weekend

So this past weekend, I drove up to Arlington to see the love of my life. It was definitely needed. I had a blast and fell in love all over again. We had a mini movie marathon, played a few games of Bananagrams, ate a lot, and just hung out.

I miss him every day. Of course, those of you reading this, know that I miss him every day. But tonight, I really miss him. Some nights are just worse than others I guess.

This summer, I got to see him play softball every week. Tonight, he's out playing, and I'm 3 hours away. I'm jealous of everyone that does get to see him tonight. I wish I could be there.

I get to see Phillip next weekend for our anniversary. That's right, we've been together for 5 years!!! And we're more in love than we ever have been. People had their doubts, but we never did. I'm pretty sure that getting through these college years will make our relationship stronger than just about any other obstacle.

But yeah, this last weekend was perfect. (Sorry to jump around, I guess that's kind of my mood right now). I couldn't have asked for a better time. Maybe that's why tonight is difficult and why these next few days are going to be harder than I'd like.

I miss him. We're definitely better now that routines are beginning to be established. It's not easier, but at least we're back to being 'normal'.

I wish I could see him every day. But unfortunately, that won't happen for another 2 years. I have to wait. It's a struggle. I have to remind myself every day that it'll be worth it and that I can't run home every weekend to get a hug.

Well, I guess it's back to the long-distance relationship life.

Gone and Crabby

Why must not knowing the next time we see each other make him crabby? I know it's sad and not knowing is killing me too, but why make this time apart more miserable than it has to be? I don't get it.... I wish he missed me like I miss him... and expressed it the way I express it - with loving comments and a voice filled with longing. But not, I have to hear anger and frustration because I guess that's how he's dealing with this. :/

Dear Phillip,

I miss you tons. I can't wait until we see each other again.

Love Always,
Ashley

I'm sitting on the couch in the living room of my new apartment. It's beautiful. Everything is beginning to have a place and it's so perfect. The only problem is that Phillip isn't staying with me - rather, he's leaving tomorrow. I'm really really going to miss him (like I always do). It doesn't get easier the more times you have to say goodbye. Why can't he stay? And why can't this apartment move to north Texas in 2 years so he and I can live here then? :(

I hate nightmares! :(

Last night I had nightmares about Phillip dying. They were the saddest dreams ever, and I woke up crying several times throughout the night. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't help but feel relief that he's still here with me. The thought of losing him scares me so much, since I know that's the only way we'll ever be apart. Let's just say, it was a terrible night and I'm going to give him a huge hug when I see him tonight.

Better

Sometimes, when I'm angry, or sad, or upset at something (even him), all Phillip has to do is give me a giant hug and look at me with those eyes. I melt. And everything is all better again.

11 Days

until I embark on yet another year in a long-distance relationship. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I'm already missing him. He's a big part of my life and I don't know what I'm going to do without him again. I have no idea how I've gotten through the last 2 years. They were painful, believe me, but every year it seems like a new experience. Every summer, we come home and it's like we never left each other, so the start of each semester is like starting all over again. The only good thing about this year is that we're on the downside of the hill. Only 2 more years and we'll never be apart again. I've forgotten what it feels like to be with him for more than 3 months at a time. I can't wait to see him every day again, and to not dread either of us leaving - because we won't be leaving.

But now, I try to soak up every bit of time I have left with him. I'm already getting teary-eyed. :(

Sometimes a little more attention is needed. Sometimes feeling like you're the most important 100% of the time is nice. Tonight I haven't felt that way. :/

Happy August?

Two weeks until I move back to College Station. While I admit I am really looking forward to getting settled into the new place and being back with my awesome friends, I am not looking forward to leaving Phillip. This summer we've been able to spend so much time together (despite him being in Arlington) and I've gottent to spend the night with him. It's been a great summer. And now I have to leave? Not fair.

I can't wait until I don't have to leave. I can't wait until I can spend the night with him every night. I can't wait until we're living together. I must be patient.

Emotional Day

Phillip and I went to a wedding today. Phillip was actually in the wedding, as a groomsman. It was nice to see him dress up and walk down the isle to participate in such a romantic day.

As I was watching this ceremony of our friends, I couldn't help but take what the pastor said to heart. He said "It's not about finding the right person when you get old enough and mature enough, but rather finding someone to grow and mature with you." Those words really got to me and made me realize that you can find something so young and make it last. What Phillip and I have is real. It made me fall in love with him even more.

He also talked about being pure and transparent with each other at all times. How powerful. If a person can be themselves entirely in front of their soulmate, it's love in one of its purest forms. I feel like I have that love with Phillip. I have never felt more myself than I do with him. I don't have to appologize for being me, or feel like I have to look or act a certain way. What a great feeling.

After the wedding was said and done, Phillip told me he can't wait until we have a wedding. He's always said he wants a wedding and wants to marry me, but that's the first time he said he can't wait. That excites me because now I feel like he wants to get married and is ready to get married. Of course, we'll still wait until summer 2011, but it's nice to know that he's ready.

Overall a great day. :)

Busy Summer

I have been super busy this summer and so swamped! I haven't had much time to write, but today I do so I'm going to write.

So far, Phillip and I have been able to spend so much time with each other. It's been so great! Last week we went out on a date to the Studio Movie Grill. It was by far, the best date I've been on with him in at least a year. Other than that, we've just hung out a lot.

2 more of my friends got engaged this week, and 2 people I've known for years got married this summer. It's really hard for me to be patient when other peoples' excitement is thrown in my face. :/ Jealousy is definitely a feeling I've felt a lot this passed week. But alas, I will wait my turn. Every day I wait, the more exciting I'll be when he proposes. God has a plan. I will follow it.

I move back to College Station in 4 weeks. I'm not excited to be doing the long-distance relationship again, but at least I'm halfway through with it.

I'll keep you posted, as always.

All Moved In

So Phillip is now all moved into his new apartment. While I don't like that he's now 20 minutes away from me, I've realized that we'll get to see each other more than I had thought. He has a job at Staples up here now, so he'll be in the neighborhood more than a few days a week. Plus, I'm getting the commute down so the drive isn't all that bad anymore.

It's a nice apartment, and I'm jealous. I can't wait to move into my new place in August! But his place is perfect, and he did a good job. I love the fact that he'll also have Josh around so he won't be as bored.

It's been a long time since I've written in here - almost a month! I've been so busy with finals and moving out of my dorm.

But now I'm here. For the entire summer. I get to see Phillip every single day if I want. We have spent a lot of time together already and will continue to do so for the rest of the summer. You truly don't know how much you've missed someone until you remember what you've been missing out on.

We're starting to talk more and more about our future together and it's pretty exciting. Sometimes I get a little nervous because it means we're getting closer and closer to starting our lives together, but it's exciting at the same time. I guess I'm growing up...

This is our last summer together before jumping off the deep end. :P We'll spend this summer together, next summer long-distance, and the next one we're getting hitched! I must soak up this summer with him. :]

Exciting!

So Phillip has decided to come down to College Station this weekend!! He'll be here on Thursday and will stay until Saturday night or Sunday morning. I'm so excited!! We weren't going to be able to see each other for another 2+ weeks, but now we get to. I can't wait!

23 Days and Counting...

This will be the longest we've gone without seeing each other since Phillip was at Mizzou. It's pretty depressing and I miss him already. You forget how much you need someone, how much you love someone, and how much you like spending time with someone, until you can't. May 14th can't come soon enough. And you'd better believe I'll be running to him as soon as I step foot in Bedford. I'm ready for a full summer with the love of my life. But until then, I must miss him a little more each day. :(

Just Hanging Out

So Phillip came in town last night to see me. :D

Today, we ate at Laynes (of course), went to the mall and Academy, and then saw "I Love You Man" before coming back here to work on his schedule for the rest of college and start watching the Rangers game. Pretty soon we'll be ordering Chili's to-go and eat it in the dorm. I love spending time with him. :]

Earlier today, we had to huddle under the same umbrella and walk all the way from my dorm to the Veterinary Sciences building, where his temporary parking permit is good at. It was definitely interesting and I got dominated (as Phillip said) by a car splashing in the runoff rain. It's been pouring down rain here all day.

So what's in store for the remainder of the weekend? Well, tonight we'll just hang out and watch some tv. Then tomorrow my parents and grandparents are coming up from Houston to spend the day here for Parents' Weekend stuff. There's a BBQ, craft fair, and maybe a concert that we'll be going to. Plus, I'll give the grand tour and show my grandparents the bonfire memorial once again. It'll be fun.

Sunday, I plan on sleeping in with the love of my life and lay around all day until Phillip has to leave that night. He was going to leave on Monday, but he has an advising appointment that day. After he leaves, it'll be another 3.5 weeks until I see him again. I'm not happy about that. It'll be the longest I've been without him since he was at Missouri. :( Look forward to sappy "I miss you" posts.

Nursing School = The Monkey Wrench

So about this time last night, I decided to start looking into different nursing schools' fast-track programs for after graduation.

I was floored by what I found out.

Well, first let me say that Texas Womens is probably my first choice for being a little more low-key than UTA (but still 98.7% NCLEX passing rate!), and for having a ton of impressive information about their post-bachelors-degree program.

But what I found out is that the program starts June of 2011 (more specifically, around the 6th if you base it off of this years date). And due to it being an accelerated program, it meets pretty much all day every day until August 2012. Therefore..... getting married in June or July of 2011 is most likely no longer an option. :(

So what is most likely going to be the solution? Well, it's still too early to fret and worry too much, but it seems like we will be getting married on one of the last 2 Saturdays of May that year. Meaning, I will graduate college, get married, and start nursing school all in the span of one month.

Crazy right!?

I know we can do it, and I would have no problem with getting married in May. I've already decided to do a little more summer school than planned so I can be a half-time student for both semesters of my senior year, giving me more time to work a second job, and plan a wedding. I think that's perfectly reasonable and would lighten the stress.

So I know what you're thinking: "why not wait another year and a half to get married?" Seriously? We've been agonizing over having to wait this long, and still have 2 more years to go... and you want us to wait even longer!? Yeah right!! Not happening!! I can't wait to marry this man, and I won't wait any longer than I have to.

Another thought you probably have: "what do the other nursing schools' schedules look like?" Well, it turns out that Baylor's fast-track nursing program would start 2 days after graduation. There is no way I could handle that - wedding or not. 2 days to pack up and leave College Station, move back home, and not have time to even breath before starting up again? That'd be more crazy than getting married 2 weeks after graduation! I also looked into TCU's fast-track program, and found out that theirs starts before I even finish finals in College Station!! Not to mention, I'd have to miss graduation if I somehow managed to be in 2 places at once. So TCU's will not be an option. And as far as UTA goes, they still have yet to post information about their fast-track program, though I've read online from other curious bloggers that if you call, they can give you info over the phone. Sounds kind of sketchy to me...

So where do I go from here? Well, I'm going to ask my career advisor (Kate) on Tuesday during her office hours if I can still do the traditional track after graduating. Nobody has ever said we could or couldn't with a degree, so hopefully she'll say I can go ahead and enter nursing school as if I applied after my second year of college. That would be ideal, and then we can scratch all of this post out and continue with the original plan of getting married in the summer and starting nursing school in the fall. If she says I can't do the traditional route, then I'll have to take it one day - and one decision - at a time. I'd have a lot of thinking to do...

I know I shouldn't stress over all of this because I have plenty of time. But I'm a planner and I would like to know what my future holds. It's exciting but scary. For the first time in a long while, I'm thoroughly confused about what/when things will happen.

Not Ashley

Well, judging by the title of this, I think its safe to say that this isnt Ashley. I dont see myself as a emotional or romantic person, I guess I have my times, or so I have been told. So this may not look like a post Ashley might have, and that was the point of everything above.

Coming into this weekend I was excited to see her, especially since it was going to be such a long weekend. As the post before said, we went to the Ranger game Thursday and then Friday we went to the driving range. I'm sure she tells everyone she is better than me at golf... but thats still to be seen! But she is getting better and Im sure this class is helping her more than anything else could. She got some new golf shoes from my parents for Easter, yes, my parents do easter gifts. (I guess thats what only child privledges get you). But the weekend didnt seem to go as well as we had hoped. I couldnt tell you why. I dont think I have been doing my part. I love her more than anything. I cant wait until we are done with school, because I think that will be the cure all to our problems. I cant wait until we can get married, because then we can start the rest of our lives, knowing that there will always be someone there for each other. Its too bad it cant happen sooner. But we must wait. I wish we could fast forward 2 years. Obviously its not possible, but it would be nice.

Parents weekend is next weekend and I will be there. Next weekend is gonne be great. It has to be. There is no reason for us to be in a "funk". Althought Id like to think that we can fix it on a phone, I dont think thats possible. Therefore, next weekend will be good.

I dont really know how to end this, but I love her more that anything. We were made to be together. We were lucky to find that out at such a young age.

Time Together

So today Phillip and I went to the driving range. I had so much fun just hanging out with him, doing what he enjoys. We went to the Ranger game yesterday too, so I got to spend even more time with him.

And you know, the more time I spend with him, the more I like him. I love him so very much, but liking him is almost as important. I do like him. I enjoy spending time with him. He makes me laugh so much. At times, yes, he frustrates me to no end, but then he just fires a cute comeback and I can't help but laugh. He's so good at that.

Listening to Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

I wish I could see him this weekend. For this semester, I've been so spoiled by getting to see him so much. I got used to seeing him every weekend and now I have to wait until Wednesday.

Looking back, I have no idea how I got through last year. It's been hard keeping up with a long distance relationship while in college, but I think we've done a pretty okay job. We still love each other very much, still have the same goals, and at the same time, haven't compromised our individual education goals. That's pretty incredible in my book - and hopefully in the book's of all who doubted us.

We have two school years and a summer left before we get to see each other every day again. I've forgotten what it feels like to not have to say goodbye. I'm ready to see him every single moment of every single day. I want that so badly.

To everyone who said it would be too hard, ad to everyone who said we'd change to much in college, and to everyone who said we couldn't make it - we've proved you wrong so far and will continue to prove you wrong. You can find your soulmate at 15/16, and it can last through several significant obstacles. We're living proof.

I've never been so sure of anything as I am about my desire to be with him for the rest of my life. Nobody loves me more, knows me better, or wants happiness for me more than him. Who could possibly throw that away for anything in this world?

I miss him.

I miss him every day. I miss him when I see couples holding hands around campus. I miss him when I count the days until I see him. I miss him when I have a terrible night and need a huge hug. I miss him when I think of how he looks at me. I miss him every second of every day.

Antsy

So three of my friends got engaged this weekend!!!

It's so exciting for them, but makes me feel anxious. I'm so jealous of them.




But then I realize that I have the best boyfriend in the entire world and that's all that matters. He'll know when we're ready, and I trust him to propose when the time's right. :]

Plans for the Future

So last night, when Phillip and I were talking on the phone, we discussed our future plans. It was the first time that I got to hear from him - without any of my input - what he sees for us in the next couple of years.



I must say that I realized that we don't have as much planned as I thought we did. What he said pretty much lined up with what I have in mind, but we have so many unanswered questions!!



We both want to get married during the summer of 2011 (A-A-A-A-A! Sorry, had to do it). However, it's looking like Phillip will still be in school and with nursing school hopefully in my near future at that point, money is a growing issue.



Will we have enough money to put on a wedding? Will we have to postpone our honeymoon? Will we have to move into his parents' house instead of an apartment?

I don't know what to expect with the money stuff, but know that I will be with the man of my dreams no matter what. We WILL make it. I have a plan to start saving now so we can have some money to live off of. It's kind of exciting not knowing wha the future will hold, but scary at the same time.

Together, we can conquer the world. :]

Happy Anniversary!

We've been together for 4 1/2 years today.

I still love him as much as I did then, and perhaps even more.



Here's to the next 4 1/2 years with the man of my dreams.

Love is An Ongoing Process

It's about making each other a better person than they were the day before.

It's about loving the other person more than they felt loved the day before.

It's about making that person happier than they were the day before.




I love you, and promise to do the above listed things every day. :)

I Wanna Love You Forever (by Jessica Simpson)

You set my soul at ease
Chased darkness out of view
Left your desperate spell on me
Say you feel it to
I know you do
I've got so much more to give
This can't die, I yearn to live
Pour yourself all over me
And I'll cherish every drop here on my knees

I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm ask forevering of you
10,000 lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do?
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire in your sweet embrace
I swear I knew.
I'm gonna love you

My mind fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do
And I'd give up all I have just to be with you
and that would do
I've always been taught to win
And I never thought I'd fall
Be at the mercy of a man
I've never been
Now I only want to be right where you are.

I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do?
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire in your sweet embrace
I swear I knew.
I'm gonna love you forever

In my life I've learned that heaven never waits no
Lets take this now before it's gone like yesterday
Cuz when I'm with you there's nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be no
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you
Loving me ... I'm gonna love

I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
10,000 lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do?
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire in your sweet embrace
I swear I knew.
I'm gonna love you forever

I Love Him

VERY MUCH

Him

I love him. I like getting to see him every weekend. <3

After Spring Break, it's back to seeing him every 2-3 weeks. I'm definitely not looking forward to that.

Well, it's time to go back to watching the Mavs game with Mr. AWESOME.

Blah

Today I'm feeling less confident about our relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love you very much and would never even think about life without you. But today, I'm feeling kind of worried.

You're putting me in a situation that I don't want to be in. That's a definite way to give us tension that we don't need right now. You can't put me in the middle of this. It's so frustrating.

It's hard to keep the faith in a relationship lately. Everyone is breaking up left and right. And of those relationships that are still intact... most of those people aren't happy. So that makes it difficult to see ours as unique and different (even though I know we are).

This Weekend

So this weekend is going to be good and bad all at the same time. I get to see my Phillip and my friends, but the circumstance is pretty crummy. I will be there to support Christine in whatever ways she needs me too but I'm kind of ready to see some people. I love Phillip and want to spend tons of time with him, but also with my friends.

Christine wants to have some sort of get-together Saturday night or Sunday morning/afternoon for her birthday. I want it to be a good day for her. It's her birthday, and despite recent events, she deserves to have a great 20th birthday.

Long Time No Talk

So much has happened! That's why I haven't updated!! I'll go through it all one thing at a time.

Valentine's Day: Phillip and I went to Carraba's for dinner. I gave him a nice portfolio and a nice pen. He gave me a dozen roses and year subscriptions to 3 cooking magazines. I had an incredible weekend and love him so very much.

Flu: This passed weekend I had the flu and was pretty much confined to bed. I went home (as previously planned) and spent the weekend laying in a recliner in my living room. Phillip stayed with me, just sitting nearby and keeping me company. I felt a whole lot of love that day - without even a kiss. Last weekend was incredible, and all he had to do was spend time with me and understand that I was not feeling well.

Christine's Dad: This morning, Christine's dad passed away. I will be going home again this weekend (third one in a row) to be there for her. I must say that it has opened my eyes to what is truly important in my life. It's making me realize that Phillip is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is so important to me.

Random

I'm kind of having a blah day today.

The only thing going great is Phillip. He's so good at making me feel better. I can't wait to be back in his arms again this weekend. I just can't wait.


That's it... not really in the mood to write a huge update and I have tons to do today!

P.S. Max is doing great, so no worries!

Enjoying My Morning Cup of Coffee

Last night on the phone was incredible!! We talked, laughed, flirted, talked some more, and had so much fun! We were on the phone for an hour and a half and didn't once kill the mood. :)

Did I mention that I love him!?

Memorable Conversation from the Evening
Context: We were talking about using different baits for fishing (like worms, crickets, mirrored spinners, etc.).
Me: "I want to go fishing with you!! But not with crickets!"
Phillip: "Well, I'll make sure they're not invited."
Me: "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah" (and so on)


Also, we get to go to the W.H.O.O.P. formal in March! It's going to be at a winery in Bryan and the dress is very formal (they even said to wear something that you'd wear to prom and that some of the guys are wearing tuxes). I'm so excited!! I'm going to wear something so pretty!

I Love Him!

I am so completely in love with him.

I talked to someone about their relationship problems, and realized something... I realized that no matter what issues come up or what obstacles get in the way, I will always love him and always want to spend the rest of my life with him.

In my eyes, he is perfect. I may get mad at times, and may get hurt... but I love him with all of my heart and nothing in this world will ever take that away from me.

I love you babe, always and forever.

P.S. I can't wait for valentine's day because the part of his present I've gotten already is goingn to blow him away! :P I'm sooo excited!

Communication

Since I am a Communication minor, I've started taking some courses. This semester, I'm taking Communication Theory. We're talking about theories of relationship communication and it's interesting how Phillip and I follow them.

There are 3 Internal and 3 External Tensions that Balance Each Other Out

Internal (within a relationship)
1. Connection-Autonomy
Sometimes you want connection with each other and sometimes you want to be your own person.
2. Certainty-Uncertainty
Sometimes a relationship needs to be predictable, and other times, it needs to have spontaneity.
3. Opennes-Closedness
There is a time for revealing yourself, and a time for guarding your heart.

External (between the relationship and the outside community)
1. Inclusion-Seclusion
Couples sometimes needs to spend time with other people and sometimes need to spend some time with just themselves.
2. Conventionality-Uniqueness
To some degree, a relationship needs to be conventional and to some degree, it must be unique and different from all other relationships.
3. Revelation-Concealment
Some parts of the relationship can be shared, while others are kept private.

With these six tensions come ways of dealing with them.
1. Denial - denying one part of the tension (ie wanting to be only unique and not conventional at all)
2. Disorientation - not being able to balance the opposing tensions and giving up as a result (ie not being satisfied with the predictability or spontaneity in your relationship so you withdraw)
3. Spiraling Inversion - alternating between tensions (ie this weekend hanging out as a group, next weekend having a one-on-one movie night)
4. Segmentation - having a time and a place for each tension,depending on appropriateness (ie spending time with the families during the holidays, but having a single date on valentine's day)
5. Balance - participating in both tensions simultaneously (ie wanting to be your own person while spending time together)
There are more, but class ended today.

I learned a lot from today's lecture. I keep trying to put too much weight on one side of the relationship tension and not balancing enough. I've been in the denial and disorientation mindset, and I need to be more in the spiraling inversion mindset. Sometimes it's necessary to hear what I mean to him and have him disclose himself to me, but other times it's only necessary to hear how his day went. I've been so selfish and I need to calm down and let it be. When I do that, our relationship seems to naturally balance the tensions.

I'll do a better job from now on, since I'm now enlightened. Thank you Communication minor!!

Valentine's Day and Max

Valentine's Day
So with Valentine's Day nearing, I can't help but wonder what I should give to the love of my life. I want to give him something romantic but sensible - and that combination is hard to come by.

Hmm. I guess I'll have to get creative AGAIN.

As far as plans go, I think we're unsure as to what we will be doing. I am coming home that weekend (on Friday). On Saturday Phillip has a basketball game to shoot but it should only take a couple of hours - giving me time to get all pretty for him. :) We're going to go out to eat, hopefully at a new place we haven't tried yet, and then who knows?? Movie? Any suggestions?


Max
Last night our puppy (Max) ate through a bottle of kerosene. I must say that I am very worried about him. :(

Phillip said this morning that he lifted his head up and seemed to be normal. Please cross your fingers and pray that he'll be ok. That's our puppy, and we love him dearly. With his first birthday coming up at the end of the month, I'd hate to think he wouldn't reach it. :(




Well that's it for this post. Maybe I'll post again later with an update? We'll see.

Last Night

Last night was rough.

Sometimes, our relationship is hard - it happens. It's so hard sometimes to deal with school, work, growing up AND a long distance relationship. Is it worth it? Totally. Is it hard, though? Absolutely.

I let it all get to me sometimes and seem to take it out on whoever I talk to first (which is usually Phillip). He's so patient and I love him completely for that.

But it's still hard sometimes.

I look at it this way: It is so much easier to get mad at someone than to miss them. If I get mad at him, I can have control over my emotions. If I just sit around and miss him, I have no control and tend to want to stay in bed all day every day.

I love A&M very much and believe that this is the best thing for me and for our relationship. I do wonder, almost daily, how happy I'd be if I were able to see him every day. I would love that so much.

But here is where I'm grounded. I have a life here... a fantastic major I can't find anywhere else... friends.... a lease.... Can I just let that all go and move back home? No. I must stay here for the next 2.5 years and wait it out. It'll make it better in the end, I know.

But for now, I wait.... impatiently.... and try to take it one day at a time.

The Story of Us

We met when we were both in 8th grade.
Cameron and I had a thing going and one day decided to go hang out at the mall (what else is there to do when you're 14?) with a bunch of friends. I met both Phillip and Patrick that day, but didn't even think anything of it.

Band made our paths intersect again.
As I started high school at Trinity, I joined band. During the summer camp, I decided to strike up a conversation with a familiar friend - Cameron. I then "remet" Phillip.

That summer, Shauna and Cameron enabled me to make a connection with the love of my life.
Shauna and I hung out over at Cameron's, almost on a daily basis. I got to know Phillip and really liked what I discovered. Unfortunately, though, it would take a little while longer to develop romantic feelings for him.

Photography developed our relationship, and Homecoming sealed our fate.
He sat behind me. We flirted constantly. Of course, when the question of homecoming came up, we hinted to each other that we would like to spend that evening together. He finally asked - and I said yes!! At this point, I was pretty anxious to see where this was heading.

On September 12, 2004 we made it official.
The day I realized that I liked him more than I had thought was a day at Patrick's house. We were outside hanging out and throwing around a football when mosquitos ate me up! When we got inside, I suddenly realized that my homecoming date didn't seem to care - and then realized that I wanted him to care. So bam! I realized I liked him. On September 11th, we flirted the most yet. He threw a basketball at my head - an ongoing joke between us. He asked me to be his girlfriend the next night via aim. I know, it seems childish, but we were young and hiding behind a computer screen felt safe. No regrets!

I knew I was beginning to fall at my 16th birthday party.
That night was so great. I remember jumping in the bounce house we rented and playing around. Then suddenly the action stopped and we just layed together. I realized that he was different and maybe we were going to end up falling in love with each other. I can't really explain that night or that feeling, but it was strong.

Since then, my world has been a great place and I'm head over heels in love... STILL!!

This blog is going to be about us. Since we are currently living 3 hours away from each other (better than the 15 hours it was last year!), it'll be more feelings than talking about actions. To some, it's going to be interesting... to others, the most boring thing they've ever read. If you are interested, that's great!