One Month Old!

Height: 19.5 inches

Weight: 7.6 pounds

Her favorite book is "Guess How Much I Love You".

She doesn't mind baths at all.

It's difficult to make sure she likes her pacifier more than her fingers.

Still in newborn diapers and newborn clothes.

Eating 3-4 ounces at each feeding, which are about 3-4 hours apart.

Remember Me?

Remember when I blogged all the time? Yeah me too. And I don't even have an excuse. All I do every day is sit around feeding and changing diapers.

I will be better. I promise!

Lately I've been working on school work like crazy, since the semester is in full swing. This semester, I'm taking two writing intensive courses so that's pretty much my life. Current Issues in Health and Data Collection and Analysis. Yeah. Pretty much, I just need to get through these two classes to get back to the fun stuff.

Elayne is so awake now and I'm loving it! It's more fun for me and everyone who comes to see her. Her cute little personality is starting to show through. She's laid back unless she's hungry - then she has no problem letting us know. She loves being held and watches intently when you read her a story. Her hair is still very thick and auburn. Her eyes are still blue! Never thought I'd have a blue eyed child, but here she is! And she's over 7 pounds now! She loves her pacifiers.

She is incredible. She surprises me every day and I love her little looks.

September 11th: A New Perspective

Today is a day that will always warrant social media posts, blogs, and talk about remembrance. Always a day to reflect. To appreciate. To remember.

Each year, I talk about how my life was changed or how I feel about that day.

Each year I also talk about how Phillip changed my life on September 11, 2009. How he placed a good memory in my heart so the day wouldn't always be filled with doom-and-gloom.


But this year is different.

This year, I have a daughter to think about.

So this post is about her.


She will never know a world without terrorism. Airports will always be a place of heavy searches, baggage restrictions, and vigilance toward suspicious people and packages. "World Trade Center" will forever be three words that mean evil and love all at once - and she will never be able to refer to other world trade centers without thinking of that September day. First responders will never be just for rescuing cats from trees or putting out fires. The middle east will always be in civil unrest and hate the western world. The military will always be on standby, even if we are not currently at war (which as of yet seems like an idea from the past). Terrorist attacks killing less than 3,000 people might seem "insignificant" to her. Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden will forever join the ranks of Hitler, and the like, as terrible people she will never have to worry about, except on history exams.





Dear Baby Girl,

I am sorry you will have to worry about so much more than your dad and I ever had to. But know that you will be stronger for it and more aware of the world. You are blessed to not have had to see the news coverage and experience the uncertainty of that day first-hand. So much good has happened since that day 12 years ago, but there is so much more to come that you and your generation will have to burden. I pray for you every day and know you will have the strength to make sense of it all - like generations past have had to do with other horrific events.

Love Always,
Your Heavy-Hearted Mama

The "P" Word

Pass.




That's the word they told us at the hearing screening yesterday. Never did such a word mean so much to me, our family, and most importantly to our baby girl.

We know she is perfect in any way and would have dealt with a hearing problem full on - as we will with any problem that will inevitably come up in her life. But to say we were relieved for her to have one less obstacle in life would be an understatement. I have been so emotional the past few weeks wondering if she would be missing out on so many wonderful things in life.

Selfish, I know, for thinking of how I would be affected by this. But I can already tell that parenting is kind of selfish - in the sense that you worry for their feelings, are saddened by their cries, and are happy for their victories. And every parenting choice and thought is based on how you feel about how they feel. Selfish in a backwards, I-really-do-care-too-much kind of way.

Things Our Beautiful Daughter Will Now Be Able to Do:
* hear my voice as I rock her to sleep after a long day
* delight in Christmas music that puts anyone and everyone in the holiday spirit - even if they do start in October
* have a book read to her at bed time without relying on vibrations, signs, or pictures
* fully appreciate the applause when she scores a winning goal, has a perfect performance, walks across the stage at graduation, and more
* have an absolutely beautiful song sum up the spot she is in life and have it inspire her
* watch a movie without subtitles
* enjoy punch lines, inflection, and raw sarcasm in jokes
* actually, just laughter
* have tears stream down her face on her wedding day as her dad takes her hand for their dance to a song that speaks to both of their hearts
* hear her soul mate tell her he loves her for the first time, hear him say "I do" on their wedding day, and hear the reassuring first cry of their babies

Two Weeks Already!?

Baby girl is growing up way too quickly. Already. I mean. Next week she might be driving, right?

This week has been my first one as a stay-at-home/maternity leave mamma. And as much as I love cuddling, not having a lengthy stressful to-do list, and having visitors, I can already tell I am not cut out for this life. I feel bored, socially deprived, and have a need to get back to work. And I'm only a week into this.

This week, Elayne has really shown some good neck muscles. While we still need to support her head when holding her, she lifts her head and turns it when she is uncomfortable or wants to see something more interesting. She's also increased her formula intake, and is still consistently only waking up twice in the night - between her 10pm ish and 8am ish feedings. Since Phillip and I are able to divide and conquer, that means we're only each waking up once. While it is still exhausting since "feedings" can last up to two hours, depending on her need to be held, alertness, etc., it's nice that it isn't as exhausting as it could be.

Yesterday, Elayne had her first pediatric visit. It was great. I love the doctor we have - and plan on keeping him, regardless of the lengthy drive to Grapevine to visit him. He is the husband of my OBGYN. I feel the same way about her too - I am willing to drive because they both are so good at what they do. They are a perfect mix of old-school realistic thinking and modern technology and thinking. On one hand, they know up-to-date information, but they also understand that our parents survived just fine without some of these new rules. I like that. And they both have good bedside manners.

Elayne had one shot - and she did so well! She wailed for approximately 2 seconds - the time it took to shove her pacifier in her mouth. Then she was done. Everything else about her is great. She is now 6 pounds and 1 ounce and 19.5 inches. While she is still small for her age, she is growing at a great rate. Especially since her "due date" isn't even until tomorrow.

The doctor said her ears are clear of fluids and look good. That means that if she fails her hearing test again on Tuesday, that it isn't due to obstructed and/or underdeveloped ears. Those are two major causes of falsely failing the test. That makes us happy and nervous at the same time. On one hand, it means that there is a big amount of hope to pass this third test since her ears are in great shape. But on the other hand, it could mean that she really does have a hearing issue that can only be explained by really and truly having a problem.

That appointment is Tuesday. I will definitely let all of you know how it goes! So far, we aren't seeing anything positive or negative when it comes to her hearing. She's kind of the same. The things we're seeing could indicate difficulty hearing or just point to the fact that we have a really good baby.

I want the best for my child and want her to have every single opportunity available to her. I want her to be fully hearing to make her life easier and so the world around her accepts her as much as we already do. I don't want her to have any obstacles before even having a chance to greet the world fully. However, we are fully prepared to do whatever it takes if she is hard of hearing. No matter the outcome, we love her unconditionally and think she is perfect in every way.