Happy 300th Post?

Yes, you read right, this is the 300th post on the blog. So it should be exciting, right? Well I've been waiting for over 24 hours to update so I could try to post something uplifting and happy, but the truth is, I'm feeling so bogged down.

I have some people close to me going through some really hard times right now and it's hard to focus on school and what I need to do because I'm hurting too much for them. I find myself trying to figure out ways to fix it all instead of being happy for the good things happening.

I'm also still waiting on SMU. I'm beginning to think that I didn't get the job and that this job hunting is yielding no results. I've applied to over 20 jobs and SMU is the only one that really seemed interested. So what am I supposed to do if the place I feel like I'm meant to be at doesn't want me to? What if I got this fancy college degree to be a receptionist? I really am turning away from the idea of nursing school even more these days, but wonder if it needs to be a good "back-up plan."

I need to sublease my apartment too. No nibblers yet on the facebook ad and I'm afraid things aren't looking up yet. I still have time, but not as much as I'd like. I want the perfect subleaser to come along and take this burden off of my shoulders. If not, this is yet another thing contributing to the stress of finding a job to pay that rent.

Please start looking up. I'm feeling pretty deflated right now.
7 months, 1 day, 5 hours, and 45 minutes

Blog App

Welcome to my new blog application on my fancy iPhone! This will make for many more updates and spontaneous posts.

Of course, inevitably, this also means a new trend may be shorter and more random blog posts. But at least for the few of you who actually read this, you'll be even more up to date on my life and how I live it.

7 months, 2 days, 9 hours

Homesick

I’m suddenly getting the feeling of homesickness. I always get this way when the holidays start rolling around. This year I get to be home, but for some reason, that makes me even more homesick. I’m ready for Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas traditions. This year will be sweeter than any other year – to be home for good – but I just can’t wait for it.

So now I sit here, wanting to go home and knowing I won’t be able to for another two weeks. It’ll be quiet and boring. I’ll have friends to hang out with, but not non-stop. There is a chance, however, that I could be going home for a second interview, if SMU calls me. I’m still hopeful!

7 months, 2 days, 19 hours, 45 minutes

Marriage Introspection

So as I mentioned in my previous post, a lot of marriage activity has occurred recently. It’s made me very introspective and inspired to actually think about the meaning of marriage.

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3

I view marriage as a contract between two soulmates. I fully believe that God has put perfect matches on this earth. If a person never finds this second half, perhaps there never was one. I know this is a hard concept for some people fearing loneliness, but I think it’s a fact. But this is beside my point.

My point is that marriage is a shared and sacred bond. It is a bond in which both parties must equally commit to – in the form of a marriage ceremony.If one person does not agree to the extent of the other, the union is going to be one of regret and turmoil.

I never like to compare anyone else to Phillip and myself, because I don’t want to make others feel like we are experts or on a higher pedestal than others. However, I am partial to the way we have done things and I feel like our union in marriage is going to be one of the strongest possible.

Phillip and I have a mutual understanding of and respect for each other. Throughout our relationship, we have always supported each other nonstop and have encouraged the other to follow their dreams. That’s one of the great reasons we work – we will never resent one another for holding the other back in life. This is probably the main reason we have waited this long to get married. We knew that our dreams of college and our futures were not identical – though we did know we would stay together – so we kept on going and working on our relationship while in separate cities.

We also know how to discuss issues and make compromises. We by no means have a perfect relationship in which no one fights or argues, but we always keep the core of our love in mind when in heated discussions. We can disagree while still being so in love with each other. I think that’s the biggest thing we can do to make this relationship work forever.

The other important part of that is confidentiality. Heather tells me time and time again that one thing she admires about Phillip and me is that we keep our disagreements and faults private. Some days he drives me crazy, and some days he doesn’t like what I do. But, we never bring the outside world into the middle of it. I have found that when you “vent” to someone about an issue you’re having with your other half, it doesn’t make that person identify with you more or feel for you more – it only gives them less confidence in your relationship. We are so thankful to have so many supporters, and a large part of that is the fact that we keep our issues to ourselves. Afterall, it’s nobody else’s business and we can figure things out on our own – another key part of our “successful” fights.

And finally, the fourth part of our successful relationship is always keeping things light. Sometimes the best ending to a fight is just laughing. Even after over 6 years of being together, I still find him hilarious and he still finds me goofy.

I know this entry sounds preachy and I’m sure I lost half of you after the first paragraph. But I felt the need to express myself. In today’s world, marriage is uncertain and more often than not, a bride and groom are not on the same page – and that comes to haunt them later in their marriage.

I once heard that partners should be “equally yoked” and I fully believe that. You should be on the same level in every way. Things don’t have to match-up exactly 100% of the time, but the main things should be agreed upon. This entry pretty much explains why Phillip and I have been together so long and why we will continue to make it in a world that puts odds against a lasting marriage.

Marriage is about more than love and more than fidelity. It’s about happiness and security and having a best friend by your side for life. I know Phillip will never leave me and I know I will never leave him. We have reached that level of commitment and I only hope that each and every one of you have or will as well.

In 7 months, 3 days, and 22 hours, Phillip will fulfill his marriage duty to me, and I will do the same for him.

A Reflection on the Night He Proposed and of Things to Come

Last night, Grace’s roommate got engaged. Things like this remind me of the night when Phillip proposed. I remember his heart beating so fast, and me standing in disbelief. I remember the beautiful meal before the big moment, and him holding my hand in the car just minutes before we walked up to the hotel room – and me thinking that I’ve never been so happy in my life, this being thought even before he proposed.

I also remember the champagne having a late arrival, and the weird animal print robes in the room, and the fact that it rained the whole time. [Luckily I love rain, though most people think this is a negative for such a great moment.] I remember as many details as possible so one day I won’t have to strain to remember.

I love Phillip more than words could even express and I can’t wait to make him my husband. In this crazy swarm of wedding planning and finishing up with school, I hardly have time to actually sit down and express how ready I am for this next chapter in my life.

Over the course of the next 7ish months, I will graduate from college, move twice, start a new job, and get married. That’s a lot to be going on. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s crazy to think about all of these changes that are going to be happening to me in such a short amount of time.

But, I am ready because I have the best friend anyone could ask for by my side. I have someone who supports me without even knowing what I stand for, someone who comforts me without understanding the problem, someone who loves what I’m doing without even being here with me, and someone who loves me without even having to think.

That’s powerful stuff right there. I know this. I know what I have and know what I never want to lose. He is my match and my other half. God put us together for a very powerful reason – soulmates. I can’t wait to enter into that final era of commitment and be able to share every waking – and sleeping – moment with him.

7 months, 4 days, 8 hours