Marriage Introspection

So as I mentioned in my previous post, a lot of marriage activity has occurred recently. It’s made me very introspective and inspired to actually think about the meaning of marriage.

“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3

I view marriage as a contract between two soulmates. I fully believe that God has put perfect matches on this earth. If a person never finds this second half, perhaps there never was one. I know this is a hard concept for some people fearing loneliness, but I think it’s a fact. But this is beside my point.

My point is that marriage is a shared and sacred bond. It is a bond in which both parties must equally commit to – in the form of a marriage ceremony.If one person does not agree to the extent of the other, the union is going to be one of regret and turmoil.

I never like to compare anyone else to Phillip and myself, because I don’t want to make others feel like we are experts or on a higher pedestal than others. However, I am partial to the way we have done things and I feel like our union in marriage is going to be one of the strongest possible.

Phillip and I have a mutual understanding of and respect for each other. Throughout our relationship, we have always supported each other nonstop and have encouraged the other to follow their dreams. That’s one of the great reasons we work – we will never resent one another for holding the other back in life. This is probably the main reason we have waited this long to get married. We knew that our dreams of college and our futures were not identical – though we did know we would stay together – so we kept on going and working on our relationship while in separate cities.

We also know how to discuss issues and make compromises. We by no means have a perfect relationship in which no one fights or argues, but we always keep the core of our love in mind when in heated discussions. We can disagree while still being so in love with each other. I think that’s the biggest thing we can do to make this relationship work forever.

The other important part of that is confidentiality. Heather tells me time and time again that one thing she admires about Phillip and me is that we keep our disagreements and faults private. Some days he drives me crazy, and some days he doesn’t like what I do. But, we never bring the outside world into the middle of it. I have found that when you “vent” to someone about an issue you’re having with your other half, it doesn’t make that person identify with you more or feel for you more – it only gives them less confidence in your relationship. We are so thankful to have so many supporters, and a large part of that is the fact that we keep our issues to ourselves. Afterall, it’s nobody else’s business and we can figure things out on our own – another key part of our “successful” fights.

And finally, the fourth part of our successful relationship is always keeping things light. Sometimes the best ending to a fight is just laughing. Even after over 6 years of being together, I still find him hilarious and he still finds me goofy.

I know this entry sounds preachy and I’m sure I lost half of you after the first paragraph. But I felt the need to express myself. In today’s world, marriage is uncertain and more often than not, a bride and groom are not on the same page – and that comes to haunt them later in their marriage.

I once heard that partners should be “equally yoked” and I fully believe that. You should be on the same level in every way. Things don’t have to match-up exactly 100% of the time, but the main things should be agreed upon. This entry pretty much explains why Phillip and I have been together so long and why we will continue to make it in a world that puts odds against a lasting marriage.

Marriage is about more than love and more than fidelity. It’s about happiness and security and having a best friend by your side for life. I know Phillip will never leave me and I know I will never leave him. We have reached that level of commitment and I only hope that each and every one of you have or will as well.

In 7 months, 3 days, and 22 hours, Phillip will fulfill his marriage duty to me, and I will do the same for him.